Mentoring: 'A Portal to Expert Insights Through a Caregiver Lens'

Research-based insights to inform your way forward.

Dear Reader,

If you’re new to Carer Mentor, ‘Hi!’ I’m Victoria. I’m a Caregiver, Mentor, and Advocate. You can read more about me and the Carer Mentor mission here: Who Stared Carer Mentor and Why?’

[January 2025 Update. There are nearly 200 articles in Carer Mentor. The publication outgrew its original 4 sections (Resonance, Mentoring, The Cape and The CM Journey. Now, all the articles are organised into The iCARE Stack. You can still navigate using the links in this article.]

This ‘Mentoring Chapter’ is a Portal to Experts through the lens of a Caregiver.

It’s more than just knowledge, facts, and expert insights. It’s also about sharing my experience, what’s helped me, and what I’ve discovered. Wisdom that I hope can empower and inspire you in your journey of self-development, especially if you’re a carer.

‘Mentoring’ complements the ‘Resonance’ section of Carer Mentor, a library of resources to support caregivers. The articles are by caregivers, not just myself.

Table of Contents:

Carer Mentor concepts

Emotions and Emotional Agility

Misconceptions and Misunderstandings about Emotions

Communication, Language and Connection

Curiosity and a Growth Mindset

Self-Compassion and the Stress Cycle

Resilience and Resilient Grief

Change, Transitions, How we articulate our story and its impact on us.

Group / Team Dynamics

Carer Mentor Back Office Publication Operations

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Victoria at Carer Mentor

1. Inspiration: 'The Timeline Exercise' for an up-to-date Frame of Reference.Putting events into perspective.

2. Inspiration 'Ten Annual Review Questions.' ARQsto give you pause.

3. Checkpoint: Are you setting yourself up for success? 2 Big questions and 1 Simple Exercise with powerful implications. The Bell Jar of Gratitude!

4. Inspiration '5 Sparks to Inspire a Fresh Perspective': to tease your brain into fresh spaces of reflection. A reframing to give you pause for thought.

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Emotions and Emotional Agility

Dr Susan David: Emotional Agility. Dr Brené Brown: Vulnerability, Shame, Emotions, Belonging.

James Clear: Atomic Habits. Charles Duhigg: The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do, and How to Change. Adam Grant: organisational psychologist & author

1. An Introduction to 'Emotional Agility'. Dr Susan David and Christina Congleton. (November 2013)

2. Resource: 'Dr. Susan David's TedTalk 'The Gift and Power of Emotional Agility.'(November 2017). 6 years ago, this was a gift to see and to feel seen. 'Sawubona'. Video and Book

3. Resource: 'Dr Brené Brown's TED Talk: Listening to shame' (March 2012) TED talk. Video and Book recommendation

4. Resource: Nathan Lozeron's Animated Summary of 'Emotional Agility.' Animation (Jan 24, 2019)

5. Resource: An Interview with Dr. Susan David about 'Emotional Agility' Train ourselves to live better lives with our emotions. (December 21 2019)

6. Dr Susan David 'Teaching Emotional Agility to Children' (December 21 2019) A short 6 minute video-interview.

7. 'Wholehearted living: Avoid Toxic Positivity and Rethink our beliefs around Emotions.' Showing up to our Emotions. Adam Grant & Susan David.

8. ‘Decoding Emotions and Experiences’.Emotional Granularity. Drs. Susan David and Brené Brown help us decode our emotions.

9. Resource: Dr Susan David's Concept of 'Stepping Out' (Oct 29, 2016) 2-minute video.

10. Resource: Dr Susan David 'Walking your Why' Interview with LeadersIn.(July 18, 2016).

11. Emotional Agility: 'Moving on' with the help of Piggybacking Habits.Values aligned action-habits. Dr Susan David, Charles Duhigg and James Clear.

12. In the moment- Emotional Agility in Action. An approach that helps me navigate forward through uncertainty.

13. Navigating with Emotional Agility: 'A map, compass and signposts.' Preparing for the onward journey.

14. Dr Susan David's Emotional Agility Quiz that gives you your own report!

15. Resource: 'RSA Animation of Dr Brené Brown's Connecting with Empathy' Video Animation

16. Emotional Granularity: Why I Recommend 'Atlas of the Heart.' Dr Brené Brown's book. Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience

Misconceptions and Misunderstandings about Emotions

Dr Russ Harris : doctor, therapist, father, trainer of health professionals, and author of The Happiness Trap (plus eight other books). Dr Iris Mauss Research Psychologist. (Wiki page). Psychologist Thomas Gilovich

1. Part 1 'Misconceptions of Emotions: The Myths and Biases. Decoding Emotions. A new series of insights and resources. Dr Russ Harris

2. Part 2 'Misconceptions of Emotions: The Happiness Trap and a Paradox. Decoding Emotions. A new series of insights and resources. Dr Russ Harris

3. 'Why does pursuing happiness, make us unhappy?’ Appreciating the messiness of now, reflecting on joy. Dr Iris Mauss.

4. 'How can I feel happier or more grateful?’ Enemies of gratitude and how to cultivate a habit to feel happier and more grateful. Dr Thomas Gilovich

Professor Lisa Feldman Barrett

Professor Lisa Feldman Barrett: How Emotions are Made. is among the top 0.1% most cited scientists in the world for her revolutionary research in psychology and neuroscience.

1. How are Emotions Made?' An Introduction to Neuroscientist Professor Lisa Feldmann Barrett.

2. 'How do we construct emotions?' 3 videos by Professor Lisa Feldman Barrett. (Part 1)

3. 'Why are Brain predictions important?' A caregiver's telepathy and burden—putting predictions into a context. (Part 2)

4. 'What influences Brain predictions?' and how can we build better predictions? Solving for unpredictability as a caregiver. (Part 3)

5. 'An architect of my emotions?' Agency and curiosity & how we can rewire our brains for better predictions. (Part 4)

6. 'What is social reality?' What social constructs frame our lives and influence us? (Part 5)

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Communication, language and connection.

1. Poet Ali:'The language of being human' by Poet Ali. Do you speak Caregiving?

2. 'Are you fluent in 'Caregiver?'' Conversational language tips from people in the know.

James Rhee: Red Helicopter a modern day parable

1. James Rhee: 'The value of kindness at work' (February 13, 2022)

2. James Rhee: 'red helicopter: a parable for our times: lead change with kindness (plus a little math).'An example of 'walking your why.' Book release April 9th 2024.

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Curiosity and a Growth Mindset

Professor Carol Dweck: Growth Mindset

1. Professor Carol Dweck: 'Developing A Growth Mindset'. Embracing The power of 'Not yet' (October 9, 2014)

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Self-Compassion and the Stress Cycle

Dr Kristin Neff and Dr Chris Germer: Mental wellness, Self Compassion, Burnout and the Stress cycle

1. Resource: Managing the Mental Load. Understanding and Enabling Yourself.

2. Recommendation: 'Burnout and how to complete the stress cycle. Emily and Amelia Nagoski' Dr. Brené Brown's 'Unlocking Us' podcast.

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Resilience and Resilient Grief

Dr Lucy Hone: Resilience and Resilient Grief

1. Resource: 'Dr. Lucy Hone's TED Talk 'The Three Secrets of Resilient People.' (September 25, 2019). A powerful video, strikes a chord

2. Resource: 'Grief is messy. It's not a tidy five-stage path.' Shankar Vedantam's interview of Lucy Hone offers us a broader context to her resilience research work and how she leverage her own work to navigate the grief of losing her daughter.

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Change, Transitions, How we articulate our story and its impact on us.

Bruce Feiler: 'Life is in the Transitions.' 

1. Recommendation: Bruce Feiler's 'Life is in the Transitions'. Mastering Change at Any Age. TEDx Talk and Book. Free access to the video. Paid access to suggested prompts for generating your own insights.

Brad Stuhlberg: Mastering Change.

1. Recommendation: '3 Essential Steps to Master Any Change'.Introduction to Nathan Lozeron's summaries and 1 pagers. How do you digest new information?

Jonathan Adler: Narrative Psychology

1. Recommendation: Shankar Verdantam's Hidden Brain Podcast 'Change your story, Change your life' (Episode Released 30 October 2023). Script guide.

2. Insights: Shankar Vedantam's  Hidden Brain podcast: 'Change your story, Change your life'. Summary notes, generating Your insights, professional and personal actionable outcomes.

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Group/Team dynamics

Bruce Tuckman's "Forming, Storming, Norming, and Performing"  to build a highly productive team.

1. Recommendation: 'Forming, Storming, Norming, and Performing" model' as a Carer and Mentor. Mindtools and 'Psychologist Bruce Tuckman's concept. November 10 2014

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