Hello! If you’re new to Carer Mentor, welcome! Thank you for being here! You can read why I’m publishing Carer Mentor here: Who Started Carer Mentor and Why?
The Carer Mentor website is a hub of tools, resources & insights, as well as a community support network. A portal of hope ❤️ Start exploring here.
Brené Brown on Empathy by the RSA
These are the Key Learnings I noted that guide me every day:
Empathy FUELS connection. Sympathy DRIVES disconnection
Nursing scholar, Dr. Teresa Wiseman (A Concept Analysis of Empathy, June 1996. Journal of Advanced Nursing) identified four attributes of empathy. I'm reframing them based on the video, so that we can constructively, put them into action immediately.
Perspective-taking is the ability to take on the perspective of the other person. This is their lens, their truth.
Stay away from judgment. It's humanly hard to do, but hold it back. You have your own thoughts, biases and interpretations which are separate and you. Focus on the person, not your opinions.
Recognise and try to understand the emotion that the other person is feeling. It's about them and not you. Listen to their descriptions
Echo back, and communicate your understanding of the person's feelings. It's important to validate someone’s feelings because it demonstrates that you accept, acknowledge, and understand them; meeting them where they are.
You are in their 'sacred space', say 'you're not alone'. Stepping into that sacred space with that person, is a vulnerable choice on your part because you have to connect with something in yourself that knows that feeling.
I’m always sensitive to not impose or overlay my experience into the conversation. I try to give the person I’m with as much of the oxygen in the room as possible. I’m not there to compare or share my own experience.
Don't silverline the situation or try to make things better. Perhaps it’s YOU who doesn't like to be in that uncomfortable place. But sitting together in pain fuels a deep connection.
Don’t try to pivot to gratitude. Don’t use “At least you have…” This silver lining, or trying to push someone towards a form of gratitude, can drive disconnection. It can feel bitter and drive resentment.
It's good to say 'I don't even know what to say right now but I'm so glad you told me' instead of giving me clichés or trying to push me to be positive, FOR YOU.
Rarely does a response make things better. What makes things better is Connection.
In my experience, being present without any words can be the most powerful source of empathy.