The Carer Mentor Journey.

My Frame of Reference, My Journey.

This is my Frame of Reference (August 1988 to August 2023)—a significant dip before University, a challenging career climb before seismic carer activity.

This index of articles offers a suggested sequence for readers.

Carer Mentor Journey

To date, I’ve been through 37 Transitions. ‘9 were lifequakes’. (Aligned to the definitions by Bruce Feiler’s US Research for ‘Life is in the Transitions’)

To name a few: Corporate to Carer, 18 Relocations, Living and working in 10 countries (including Asia, Russia, Canada and the USA), evolutions of my chosen friends-family, Vice President Commercial Leader to Business Owner.

I’ll share my journey about how my mother and I fulfilled my father’s wish to die at home, how we pivoted from Dad’s funeral straight into Mum’s surgeries, chemo and radiotherapy and how I continue to care for Mum now.

There are facts and a whole swamp full of emotions, struggles, hellish no-sleep-nights and so much more. And yet, we found our joy and I found my way to thrive.

The Carer Mentor Mission

Together, we can raise awareness of the struggles Caregivers face today and the impact that Care is having on ALL of us.

• Context: As the population ages, a whole new generation is added to our lifespan - an ageing population, a ‘5 generation’ workplace’/economy & a ‘Sandwich generation’ that is burning out.

• The Problem: There is an increased need for care for friends and loved ones who have illnesses, disabilities, or age-related frailties, as well as a need to redefine how we care for them and us, the caregivers. There is a collective social need for change.

• The Idea: We can start by changing the narrative around care and caregiving - let’s begin by having MORE discussions within our families and with others and creating solutions in our communities. Whilst I hope we can advocate for changes in policy and with governments, I’ve seen the most powerful, effective solutions being made between 2 or 3 people sharing daily tasks and errands. E.g. shopping, medication pickups, meals, and driving to medical appointments.

We can make a difference by sharing one cup of tea, one conversation at a time. We can also connect with those around us to build an informal support team.

My personal experience can offer you and others a window into caregiving. There is no ‘standard’ path because we and the relationship dynamics we have with others are unique. My story is only one of the many millions. What’s yours?

A Table of Contents and suggested reading order.

1. Poem: 'One Carer's Purpose': A space to connect and to feel at home.

2. 'Who started Carer Mentor and Why?'

3. Poem: 'Head-Heart-Gut Aligned'  

4. Brussels: 'The Sixth and Sixteenth Relocation' The first of several articles sharing my experience of living through 18 relocations across 10 Countries.

5. Personal Reflection: 'A Recalibrated Frame of Reference'. A reframing of life events

6. Personal Opinion: 'Working within an outdated Frame of Reference?' Do your reference points and measures need recalibration?

7. Personal Reflection: 'In the space of 'Not Knowing' are sparks of 'Be-ing'

8. Personal Reflection: 'A New Year...with an Outdated Frame of Reference?' Do your reference points and measures need recalibration?

9. Personal Reflection: ‘A Prelude to Caregiving: Love and Torture’ A 2015 hospitalisation was only the beginning.

10. 'A little respite: reminders, revelry and love?' A short post of a little paradox

11. Navigating with Emotional Agility: 'A map, compass and signposts.' Preparing for the onward journey.

12. 'How's our Community Network going?' Defining success, the Carer Mentor way. A mid-year review

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