'Who started Carer Mentor, and Why?'

December 2025

‘Heartfelt empathy for Caregivers. A hub of practical tools, resources, and expert insights. A portal of hope.’

Carer Mentor can offer empathy and inspiration if you are caring for someone or receiving care because you have a chronic illness or health issue.

What helped me, could help you.

Hi! I'm Victoria. I’m a Caregiver, a Mentor and an Advocate for Caregivers.

The Short Back Story! After a career climbing the corporate ladder, I made a head-heart-gut-aligned decision to help my Mum care for my Dad. He had a litany of health issues that were destabilised by a major hospitalisation in 2015: congestive heart failure and rheumatoid arthritis were compounded with a diagnosis of vascular dementia and then bladder cancer.

I stepped away from work for a year, returned for six months, and then resigned from the ‘big’ corporate job in 2017. Dad passed in January 2020. Shortly after his funeral, we moved to another rollercoaster— treatment for Mum’s cancer.

Why I’m here:

1. The Premise - my rollercoaster journey

2. The Mission - empathy, inspiration, and actionable support

3. Building the Carer Mentor Website & Index: iCARE Stack

4. Resonance of the mission; feedback is the affirmation I need to keep going!

1. The Premise

The rollercoaster image below shows my career growth and the seismic shifts and jolts of being a caregiver. This is a subjective rating of my life events built using the Timeline Exercise.

Victoria’s Timeline. Rating of Events 1988 to 2023.

Along this journey, I've navigated 18 relocations across 10 countries and led cross-functional diverse global teams and portfolios. I had no idea that from 2015 onwards, I would experience such a seismic ‘amplitude of emotions’ whose intensity and impact stretched me beyond what I thought I was capable of.

It's been an extreme challenge—the acts of caregiving and orchestrating all the connecting elements. We are the orchestra, the sheet music, and all the instruments. We are the conductor, but we have no baton.

I count my blessings. Right now, I am in calmer waters. Other caregivers are not. They are tired and have no time to advocate for change or themselves when all their time and energy are used caring for and ensuring the safety of their loved ones. They need empathy and support. When those who need support are too tired to lobby for themselves, we must stand for them.

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2. The Mission

Together, we can raise awareness of the struggles Caregivers face today and the impact that the hidden crisis of Care has on ALL of us.

Whether you are a caregiver, someone suffering a chronic illness, or someone navigating life’s challenges and uncertainties, the resources and experiences I share could offer Empathy and Inspiration for your journey ahead.

Context: As the population ages, a whole new generation is added to our lifespan - an ageing population, a ‘5 generation’ workplace’/economy & a ‘Sandwich generation’ that is burning out. (see Interview Chris Hayes Podcast with Ai-jen Poo Exec Director of Caring Across Generations in the US).

The Problem: an increased need for care has outpaced the change in policies and infrastructure. There is a hidden crisis as caregivers struggle to do everything themselves; long battles with bureaucracy and complicated access to care support exhaust whatever energy remains after working. This is compounded by the fact that everyone’s trying to make ends meet financially. So, conversations are ‘put off’, and denial and discomfort simmer until a medical crisis occurs.

How do we improve the situation and match the needs of the growing, ageing population? How do we care for our loved ones today, and who’ll look after us later? There is a collective social need for change.

The Idea: We can start by changing the narrative around care and caregiving - let’s start having more discussions within our families and with others and creating solutions in our communities. While I hope we can advocate for changes in policy and with governments, I’ve seen the most powerful, effective solutions being made between 2 or 3 people sharing daily tasks and errands. E.g. shopping, collecting medications, making meals for others, and driving to medical appointments.

We can redefine care and caregiving in our communities: one cup of tea/coffee, one errand, one conversation at a time. Define Your care team. Build your Caring Community.

We can support each other, leveraging our experience for peer-to-peer mentoring, empathy and inspiration. Let’s be neighbours and friends who support each other.

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3. Carer Mentor Website, Community Hub and iCARE Stack

This website's primary focus is on the needs and experiences of caregivers and the acts of caregiving. In this video, I’m highlighting the Caregiver Hacks/Tips and Advocacy section CAPE (Care, be Aware, Prepare and Engage) that tries to dispel the myth that we are superhuman heroes!

The Community Hub for Patrons and Paid Subscribers

Many caregivers don’t have the time, energy or inclination to scroll through a feed of general notes and articles to find what they’re looking for. They need a place to connect with like-minded souls to exchange ideas and ask questions, without being tied to a specific time, date, or place.

For carers joining this platform (Substack), navigating everything can be overwhelming, and finding others with similar interests can be difficult. Our community can support newcomers.

I’m offering Carer Mentor subscribers a space to meet, mingle, and feel understood—Empathy and Insights with meaningful connections and resonance.

The Main Index: iCARE Stack

iCARE Stack is the primary index for the website—a wealth of resources and ideas.

Introduction & Welcome to iCARE Stack

There are several Anthologies. For example:

Caregiving Hacks & Tips

Bereavement & Grief Anthology

Giving and Receiving Care Anthology

iCARE: The Cancer Anthology

Every year, I’ve led a collaboration with other caregiving writers:

Collaboration: 'Caring About Crying'

'Letters from a Caregiver.'

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4. Positive Feedback & Affirmation I need to keep going!

A small review affirmed the purpose:

'How's our Community Network going?'

102 Publications recommend Carer Mentor. Here are some comments:

Jody Day 'Resources for caregivers and an understanding of the political and economic realities facing those needing, and those providing care in our society.'

Kristina Adams Waldorf, MD ‘"Shining a light on the emotional and psychological struggles of caregivers is incredibly important. This is a subject that has been too long in the dark."

Janice Walton 'This newsletter is such a gift to all people who give care to loved ones.'

The Long Goodbye 'An in-depth resource for those of us in the caregiver role, at whatever stage.'

Therapy and Other Stories 'If you love someone you will be a carer' is so true. For some of us it will be a blessedly short experience for others it is a lifetime. Victoria's substack offers exactly what the title suggests and is a great resource for anyone in this position.'

Danusia Malina-Derben 'Victoria is dedicated to honest, hope-fuelled caregiver support and resources. Her portal is wonderful respite for so many!'

Cherie Lee 'Carer Mentor makes me think, gives me hope, and provides info that I may desperately need some day. Thank you, Victoria!'

Susan Marte 'Victoria offers so much to those of us caregiving for others. She's a wonderful resource.'

The Disabled Ginger 'Victoria writes heartwarming and insightful pieces about what it's like to be a caregiver. She highlights the struggles caregivers face as well as what an important and often under appreciated role they play.'

Sarah Coomber at Sandwich Season ‘Lots of resources, food for thought and empathy here!’

I am deeply grateful to those supporting my work through paid subscriptions.

THANK YOU! Time is my most precious asset, and your support of the Carer Mentor Mission and my work means more than I can say.

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Thank you!