This article is part of the Memoir section of Carer Mentor: Empathy and Inspiration.
When you have a nagging feeling at the back of your mind that something isn’t right, how long do you wait before consulting a doctor? What do you say to the doctor? What will you do when that nagging feeling doesn’t go away?
Dear Readers, I’ve taken a little writer-rest-space over the last month because I wasn’t sure what I’d be writing about today. You see, I was waiting for a colonoscopy investigation on July 7th, and I was reasonably sure I’d be telling you that they’d found something.
I’m very relieved, and honestly, a little surprised to share that everything is clear; there was no inflammation, no polyps, and no biopsies were taken.
The investigation was a month after the private 2-hour health check I had during a respite break on June 6. I underwent blood tests, a physiologist review, and spent over an hour with a GP. (I highlighted it here This Caregiver's Respite and Review.)
As part of that review, they did a CA125 test for ovarian cancer1 and a FIT (Faecal Immunochemical Test) test that looks for tiny traces of blood that you might not be able to see, and which could be a sign of cancer.2
On June 10, the private GP called me in the morning to report that the CA125 test was negative, but the FIT test was highly positive. Stomach acid churned. I went straight into action, informing my NHS GP and reconnecting with our usual healthcare system to update information and request a colonoscopy.
My blood results were already reported to me during the June 6 consultation. On June 10, I took comfort in knowing my blood work was all within normal ranges. Still, I wasn’t surprised by the high positive FIT result, because something hadn’t been feeling right for quite a while, which is why I had pushed for tests.
Of course, the news was chilling, and my caregiver brain was sorting through scenarios and potential implications of what would or could happen next.
Agility and pragmatism, I just wanted to get a clear view - literally, via the colonoscopy of what was going on, and then start planning whatever’s needed.
For someone who is very independent and takes on any challenge head-on, navigating both myself and my mother through our respective reflections, while caregiving, was making me feel nervous and agitated, and this was only over one month.
We’re blessed to be in calmer waters compared to when we were caring for Dad, but still…
June was spent clearing and sorting, and doing what I could to distract my brain, while also clearing our everyday areas to be ready for whatever I’d/we’d need.
I also updated the hospital go-bag checklists to prepare myself for what I might need as a patient. (Checklists for Go-Bags)
I shared the FIT test result with close friends, and the day before the colonoscopy, I informed my friends on the Carers online forum. I believe in prayers, vibes, and good karma, and I asked everyone to hold me in their thoughts, for a ‘clear’ result.
24 hours later, OH MY GOSH, ‘All Clear!’
I don’t want to share all my medical details, but it’s clear why there was a false positive, and it’s clear I have intense gut muscle spasms similar to Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). ‘The Body Keeps The Score’, (Reference Bessel Van Der Kolk)
Restarting my stomach and gut was a huge pain, literally for 24-48 hours. Thankfully, over-the-counter Buscopan, paracetamol and sleeping through it helped. I’ve already started experimenting with peppermint tea, adjusting my diet, and increasing my movement. (I’m not looking for additional medical advice, diet or strategies. I’ve already received a lot, plus additional medical advice, which I’m very grateful for.)
The evidence and tests are clear, but I need to keep tracking my symptoms in case I need more help.
That’s the summary of the last month, but it’s been eight months of flip-flopping thoughts, nagging fears and trying to get answers to why I’ve had these symptoms.
Something didn’t feel right. Is this perimenopause or something else? We can read books about perimenopause, talk to friends, seek out reassurance, but until we’ve medically addressed the issues, it could be anything. We don’t know what we don’t know.
Here in the UK, our NHS system means you’ll need to get an appointment with a General Practitioner (GP) before you can be referred to a specialist. Depending on your symptoms, you may see a nurse practitioner or a GP. GPs are the primary gateway to secondary, specialist investigations and care in hospitals. Depending on your symptoms, your doctor may fast-track the investigations and results.
It’s one thing to be assertive for the sake of the loved ones we care for, but like anything, it’s easy to dismiss our own needs as an inconvenience, instead of taking action. We can easily end up gaslighting ourselves if we don’t deem our symptoms ‘alarming’ or ‘acute enough’ to tip us into immediate action.
Symptoms can be intermittent, episodic, unpredictable and no longer tied to any menstrual pattern. I’m very aware of the numerous cancer cases in my family. Hence, my raised vigilance and nagging worries.
Check this list of possible symptoms of cancer if you’re worried.
It wasn’t until our close friend passed away from Bowel Cancer on New Year’s Eve that I pushed myself to contact the GP practice.3
This may offer more insight into why I’ve been so focused on raising awareness about Cancer this year!
If we were having a long, cosy chat together over tea, I’d share more about my emotions, worries, ups and downs, and the ins and outs of each medical interaction, as well as the time between each of them. I was given reassurance and support. However, I knew I needed more answers and evidence, not just reassurance.
This is not a question of trust or issues with the GP practice I’m registered with. They are responsive and act on what I flag up. However, the private 2-hour 360 health assessment provided a definitive, comprehensive, and in-depth full-body investigation, along with walk-through explanations and evidence, at a time that worked for me.
Unlike the NHS, I could discuss everything with one person, using the results of blood and other tests done in the previous hour with the physiologist. We also laid out scenarios for the outstanding test results.
From picking up the phone to schedule the private appointment, to the time of the NHS colonoscopy, it’s been two months. Now, I have greater peace of mind. Even if the symptoms haven’t completely gone, the causes and correlations of why are now clear.
Importantly, I also know that it’ll be much easier for my GP practice to do any follow-up investigations with this new baseline of information in my record.
Actionable recommendations and thoughts for you
Write out your symptoms or nagging feelings in a diary/journal so you can see any patterns for yourself. Don’t gaslight yourself
Make sure you know your family history of cancer, especially any cases under 70 years of age and any breast cancer.
Have you had a smear test and a mammogram in line with your country’s screening programs? For guys, make sure you get a PSA blood test for possible prostate cancer.
If you have nebulous symptoms of discomfort, pain, and especially any bleeding, try to describe the symptoms in detail to tell your doctor using this possible cancer symptoms list.
I detailed helpful adjectives around pain in this article: #1 'How to close patient-doctor disconnects.' Building our language/questions to help us advocate for ourselves AND improve our chances of being heard in a medical consultation.
If you have any rectal bleeding, or even if you don’t, push for a FIT test to rule out colorectal cancer. The UK screening age for bowel cancer was lowered in January 2025 to those aged 50 - 74.
The CA125 test is a blood test for ovarian cancer. If you’re under 50, ask your GP about an HE4 blood test (see footnote 1). These are available via private health organisations.
Ask your doctor what tests can prove whether you have cancer or not.
Then ask if the test is available to you, and the pros and cons of having the test. You may need to consider getting it done privately, e.g. CA125 for ovarian cancer. In the UK, there are standard protocols for when and how GPs and specialists will prescribe different tests. Ask for advice, but be sure to raise your concerns.
Key reminders for you: Keep a symptom diary. Gather as much information as possible from your GP about potential tests and procedures. Consider asking for a specialist referral or scan, and getting tests done privately for your peace of mind.
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April was Bowel Cancer Awareness Month. A special thank you to these writers for sharing their experiences and helping me to learn more about it.
’s articles highlighted young cases of bowel cancer. emphasised the importance and ease of a colonoscopy. I learnt more about colon cancer from , and and how we can move on from it through ’s experience. All of you helped turn my fear into action.I recommend reading Mikel’s book ‘Surviving Colorectal Cancer: A Memoir of Family, Friends, and Faith.’ As a curious learner and pragmatist, this cleared up several questions.
The stark reality of health issues for caregivers was brought into sharp focus by the Carers UK report for Carers week.
The fact that this was released a few days after the health check felt like a sign. This is why I need to share my experience.
June 9, 2025, Carers UK Caring About Equality Report
43% of current or former carers – an estimated 10.7 million people – have seen a mental or physical health condition develop or become worse since taking on a caring responsibility for someone. This figure is higher again for current carers at 48%.
Over half (58%) of current and former carers feel they are at a disadvantage as they are not able to look after their own physical or mental health in the same way as those without caring responsibilities.
39% of current and former carers who had a health condition develop or become worse said that being able to take regular breaks from caring would have helped prevent this.
40% of current carers said they had postponed or cancelled a medical appointment, test, scan, treatment, or therapy because of caring, with 44% of those cancelling appointments saying they couldn’t find appointments at a time they could attend.
A higher proportion of female (both current and former) carers said they face disadvantages with their health compared with males (64% compared with 52%).
Taking on caregiving and being perimenopausal can make advocating for your health complicated. So, while I know that not everyone can invest in a private healthcare assessment, I urge anyone who is having unexplained symptoms, and especially if they are any of the possible cancer symptoms, to turn their fear and worry into action!
Emerging from these worries, I’m taking things a little easy right now. If, like me, you’re looking for a bit of comfort, try this or go to the ComfortZone section of Carer Mentor:
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I produced these ‘Go Bag’ checklists because I thought I would need to use them more often! Handy tools for us all. Available for Paid Subscribers, and via the article below, with an 80% discount to anyone wishing to upgrade.
It contains three PDF Downloadables. - a list of items, along with the reasons why each item has been included.
The Patient’s Hospital Go-Bag Checklist
The Caregiver’s Go-Bag Checklist
A template form of Medical Information to keep in each Go Bag
An existing blood test for ovarian cancer has been re-evaluated. The results are in (Published 28 October 2020 by Cancer Research UK)
What’s more, this study showed for the first time that an abnormal CA125 result in primary care was not only associated with ovarian cancer – over 350 women with high protein levels had the disease – it also found more than 380 women with an abnormal CA125 result had another type of cancer such as pancreatic, lung or bowel cancer. These results reflect how important it is that GPs remain alert to the risk of other cancer types when carrying out specific triage tests.
Age was a big factor that affected the results. The proportion of women with an abnormal test who had any cancer, was much higher in women aged 50 or over (33%) compared to women younger than 50 (6%).
Although the CA125 test is already being used in GP surgeries, this new data provides a great opportunity to encourage the use of the CA125 test as an effective triage tool.
A new HE4 blood test to speed up ovarian cancer diagnosis and treatment. Funded by Wellbeing of Women, Dr Garth Funston has evaluated a new blood test to help diagnose ovarian cancer faster and more accurately in primary care. (21 May 2024)
They discovered that both HE4 and CA125 worked well in detecting ovarian cancer, but both tests had their limitations. Researchers found that using a single cut-off figure for HE4 levels in determining potential ovarian cancer cases did not make the test any more effective than the current CA125 test.
However, researchers noted that levels of HE4 increase with age. Using an existing algorithm – ROMA – Dr Funston and his team were able to show that HE4 levels, when analysed alongside the current CA125 test and within this algorithm, could improve the detection of ovarian cancer, particularly in women under the age of 50.
Cancer Research information. FIT (Faecal Immunochemical Test) is a test that looks for blood in a sample of your poo. It looks for tiny traces of blood that you might not be able to see, and which could be a sign of cancer. Traces of blood in your poo can be caused by other medical conditions and doesn’t necessarily mean you have cancer. But if it is cancer, finding it at an early stage means treatment is more likely to work. This information is about using the FIT test for people who have symptoms that could be caused by bowel cancer.
In hindsight, November and December were full of stress and grief that may have tipped my symptoms into overdrive. Easy to say now, but I’d no idea what was happening then.
I am so sorry you had to endure the wait for the scope with that false positive in mind, but so relieved to hear that all was clear. I hope you find some relief from the IBS-type symptoms you are experiencing!
I appreciate the actionable tips here. And the honest account of your stress inducing journey.