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May 4Liked by Victoria

Great read. For me happiness is having lower expectations so I don’t need to strive for what other have. Am pretty happy most of the time too 🤩

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Thanks Jon! Through work and even now, caregiving, I plan for the worst and hope for the best. Perhaps more crisis management-like than before, because there's 'more on the line' than budget allocations! I'm still an optimist just less perfectionist!

And...Penfold?!? I'll have to explore your work! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment!

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Love this round-up Victoria - Russ Harris' The Happiness Trap was a super important book for me to get my head around what you so aptly describe!

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Thanks, Zan - I totally agree! It was reassuring. A little scary too. The most important piece for me is realising that being open to the full range of our own emotions can mean we Struggle less overall. There are a couple of articles I think you'll enjoy over the next weeks. Intros to other experts. Feel free to build on what's here or the next articles! Amplifying these messages is good for all of us, and we can all Rise! ;-)

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Thanks! Looking forward to them

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So full of wisdom, Victoria! I love the joy vs happiness definitions. Thank you!

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Thanks, Cherie. As I share more of what I've found and researched, I realise how much it's resonating with readers. There is a thirst for sharing our collective wisdom. I hope that providing the research and evidence of experts can give us all insights and inspiration, on top of our empathy.

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Being ok with things left unfinished has been a big one for me. But there’s always more unfinished than finished. It’s a rhythm I’ve grown used to and, funnily, being tired helps. 😄

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Thanks Phyllis, when you're caregiving (may I say especially for a dementia patient) nothing is predictable. I remember catching myself piling on frustration with myself and starting to get irritated with Dad or Mum because I couldn't get laundry finished, or I was in the middle of checking house admin...there's a never-ending to-do list!

I try hard to reframe my thinking to, 'I've got a bit more done...(and write myself a post-it on what's next - because I'm likely to forget) then I get back to it later. Lists never end..

SO I'm relieved to hear you've found your rhythm, I hope you have support so you can rest.

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Very interesting.

Think this dichotomy has similarities with the self-awareness paradox the more we know, the more we know how little we know. And conversely, when we have limited self-awareness we think we’re very self aware.

Here chasing happiness leads to unhappiness. Standing still means we become content with what we have

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May 1·edited May 1Author

Hi Nia - Thanks. I think your work on self awareness is much needed, to ensure we sustain a growth mindset and our curiosity. I agree as our horizons expand so does our awareness that there's so much more to learn out there. Hopefully we can expand & diversify the way we learn to encompass more, as well as the facts themselves.

The research here shows an indirect correlation, I mean I think its the pursuit & focus of the feeling that backfires. I don't think standing still we become content - life throws stuff at us, I think if we don't intentionally / mindfully be aware or open to what life is in the present we could default to 'falling victim' or only fire-fight react to what life throws at us..to paraphrase, I like to think fully engaging in life learning agility with our emotions can help us navigate through and help us to be more resilient. Does that resonate?

I'm talking mainly from a caregiver's perspective here, as the intensity and myriad of emotions can overwhelm. Hence, the postscript video. Having the courage to navigate and move through pain/the present despite fear and pain is a huge challenge. Of course it applies to everyone though, Thoughts?

I hope the next articles in the pipeline will interest you re. emotional intelligence and more research!

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Yes I was probably being too metaphorical. I was thinking about Fred Luskin’s talk about forgiveness at the World Happiness Summit - happiness is being content with what we have. Stress is wanting something self.

Very much looking forward to the next article!!!

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May 1·edited May 1Author

Thanks, Nia - always great to exchange with you. One day we'll swap work stories. I know that all the training and opps I had building global Cross Fx, multicultural teams has enabled me to be a better communicator and caregiver, - self leadership and 'influencing without direct reports' you know the stuff. Let's say orchestrating all the different stakeholders in our vicinity is an art AND science ;-)

....which is why I need to share all this is my longwinded point ;-)

There's an article down the pipeline on cultural diversity with all this too. best wishes!

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