The November Series: 'For the Caregivers.'

President Biden has declared November 2024 National Family Caregivers Month. Madam Vice President Kamala Harris cared for her mother, so she understands and has actionable plans.

Hello, dear Readers! Thank you for spending some of your precious time here. A big welcome to all our new subscribers. Welcome to the Carer Mentor Community of Empathy and Inspiration.

The short-version facts of my caregiving story! After a career climbing the corporate ladder, I made a head-heart-gut-aligned decision to help my Mum care for my Dad. He had a litany of health issues that were destabilised by a major hospitalisation in 2015: congestive heart failure and rheumatoid arthritis were compounded with a diagnosis of vascular dementia and then bladder cancer.

I stepped away from work for a year, returned for six months, and then resigned from the ‘big’ corporate job in 2017. In 2016, my father had his first bladder transection operation, and over the following year, the plateaus of the stable-calm routine became shorter and shorter.

Dad passed in January 2020. Shortly after his funeral, we moved to another rollercoaster— treatment for Mum’s cancer.

You can read more about why I write and publish Carer Mentor here

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Dear Readers,

For me, October in the UK was a very long month. In fact, the first week was just one very long day, given that my Mum was hospitalised with COVID and pneumonia.

Advocating for a loved one in the hospital is NOT the kind of adrenalin rush I seek out; it is always a nightmare. I can never be ‘just the concerned daughter’. I have to be the spokesperson, advocate, influencer, champion, protector and careful persuader.

Hospital admission is much worse than caregiving at home in the UK because nothing is within your control, and your loved one is beholden to the attention/or lack of attention from others.

KEY TIPS:

1. Take the names of every nurse, healthcare assistant and doctor to personalise the interactions. Emotional connections instil greater attention.

2. Identify when shift changes happen. Actions, reminders and requests can easily be missed at handover. It may irritate you to discover that handovers happen just before visiting hours.

Today’s health system is conditioning family/friend-caregivers to be unpaid, untrained medics. There is no alternative to navigating a medical crisis. We must compartmentalise personal feelings to ensure our loved one is seen and heard correctly when they cannot advocate for themselves…in our case, my mother had a febrile fever and was unable to say anything coherently.

For all these reasons (and more!!), following Carer Mentor’s first anniversary in October, the November articles series is For the Caregivers. It neatly coincides with the US National Family Caregiver’s Month.

If I lived in the US, I’d vote for Madam VP Kamala Harris. She knows. She understands.

There are many articles in this month’s series.

There is an Open invitation to write and share a Caregiver story—your own or a tribute to someone else. This is not about the acts of caregiving but about the caregiver.

Please ‘❤️’ LIKE the article to guide others to this article and this month’s series!

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November is National Family Caregivers Month

[Click on the image above to read President Biden’s Proclamation]

From the Caregivers Action Network (CAN)

National Family Caregivers Month – celebrated each November — is a time to recognize and honor family caregivers across the country.

Celebrating Family Caregivers during National Family Caregivers Month enables all of us to:

• Raise awareness of family caregiver issues

• Celebrate the efforts of family caregivers

• Educate family caregivers about self-identification

• Increase support for family caregivers

• Reduce feelings of isolation

Caregiver Action Network is the organization that chooses how to celebrate National Family Caregivers Month annually and spearheads the celebration of NFC Month nationally.

Caregiver Action Network (the National Family Caregivers Association) began promoting national recognition of family caregivers in 1994. President Clinton signed the first NFC Month Presidential Proclamation in 1997

An excerpt from the proclamation:

‘Family caregivers are the backbone of our Nation, making tremendous sacrifices to be there for the people who need and cherish them most. This month, we honor their selfless love and courage, and we recommit to getting them the support they deserve. They should know their country has their backs.

For far too long, the cost of care in this country has been too high. Today, millions of Americans are part of the so-called sandwich generation, caring for both young kids and aging parents at the same time. Too many families struggle to afford help, spending their own retirement savings to pay for the care of their loved ones or quitting their own jobs to stay home and provide it themselves. Most often, it is women who bear the brunt of care work. And the pay for professional care workers is far too low.’

Madam Vice President Kamala Harris Oct 31, 2024

#KamalaHarris #Harris2024 #shorts

‘I cooked her meals and found little things that put a smile on her face. It was about love and dignity. Here’s how, as president, I will ensure more of our seniors can live life with dignity.’

Don’t miss listening to her interview with Brené Brown,published October 28th.

As my friend

Cherie Lee

said in her note ‘I believe we are going to win, but I also believe it would be devastating for women and our country if Kamala Harris is not given the chance to lead us.’

”I am going to tell you something.  We are going to win.  It is not going to be easy.  We are going to win.  I believe that the majority of Americans not only love our country deeply, right, but understand that at the end of the day, the true measure of the strength of a leader is not based on who you beat down, it’s based on who you lift up.” – Madam VP Kamala Harris

In November, I’ll share more resources, references and support tips for Caregivers, ‘unpaid carers’ (as we’re labelled here in the UK). Placing the focus and spotlight on us.

P.S. A small personal note, I’m not looking for accolades, awards or clapping. I’m simply hoping to share empathy and inspiration with other caregivers, but also any reader who loves someone. Because if you love someone, you will be caring for someone—there are many forms of caregiving, some you’re probably already doing. Let’s share our experiences of being a caregiver this month. xo

Please ‘❤️’ LIKE the article, to guide others to this article.

Carer Mentor by Victoria is free to read. If you have the means and would like to support the publication, I welcome monthly (£6) and annual (£50) subscriptions. Thank you for your ongoing support.