This is a wonderfully curated list of resources, Victoria. I wish that I had had it to hand many years ago when I was newly grieving my mother, contemplating my father's imminent death and coming to terms with the news that my baby had incurred a profound brain injury from post-birth hypoxia. I did get through it all, but it is heartening to see that nobody now needs to struggle alone!
That's a heart-wrenchingly potent web of rollercoasters you've shared in just 4 lines. My condolences for the loss of each of your parents.
Thank you for subscribing and being part of our community network. You're not alone and I'm grateful for the contributions & support I know you'll be able to offer others. xo
Thank you for sharing my work, Victoria. Having the support of a community that understands this journey is so important. I appreciate all the work you do in building these connections.
I wish I had a resource like https://www.carermentor.com/s/icare-stack during the many moments of loss and death I’ve faced—when life was upended by accidents in an instant, the slow, excruciating decline of cancer, or the shock of an unexpected, rapid illness that ended in death before I could fully grasp what was happening.
From my own experiences with the deaths of loved ones—and even the figurative death of my old life—I’ve learned one thing: don’t do it alone. Grief isolates, and connection can heal.
Today, I found solace, comfort, and kindness here in this community while facing the slow death of the life I’ve known for 57 years. It’s not the loss of a loved one, but it carries its own weight of grief. What I’ve discovered, though, is that even in moments like this, there is a community here—people who hold space for you, who offer compassion and care.
Victoria’s Carer Mentor: Empathy & Inspiration anthology is a remarkable resource for anyone navigating grief. Whether you’re processing a recent loss or living with grief, it’s a place to find connection, understanding, and hope.
Please don’t face grief alone. Explore this resource, and if you need it, connect with this community—it’s here for you. 💛
Thank you Jay. I've just restacked your main article and suggested a few people you could connect to. I hope that's ok. Sending best wishes, hugs and a reaffirmation that you're not alone. I see you, especially after watching the whole of your video today Jan 3rd xo
Victoria, thank you so much—not only for restacking my article but for suggesting connections as well. That’s more than okay; it’s deeply appreciated and aligns beautifully with one of my intentions for this year: connection.
My intentions for 2025—healing, connection, and authorship—feel like they’re already taking root, and today has been an incredible affirmation of that. As you’ve seen in my 15 minutes of 100% self-authenticity, offline I am connectionless. Yet today has brought me more meaningful moments than I’ve experienced in years—far surpassing the one or two I might have found in an entire year before.
Your support and kindness are part of what made this day so impactful. Thank you for holding space, for seeing me, and for helping me forge the connections I need as I navigate this journey. 💛
Thank you for this! As someone who writes through my trauma (and tries to bring "light into dark places", I really honor others who are working through grief. ♥
Thank you Michele! I hear you. I receive comfort as well as learn from the experiences of others. This is why I wanted Carer Mentor to be a dynamic hub and portal to connect writers & readers. I'll go and explore your work now ;-)
I missed this wonderful anthology in the midst of the collab on our other anthology on crying. What a great collection of essays and resources! Thank you for your tireless efforts!
Would you consider adding my essay on the grief of the loss of an intimate partner as betrayal revealed that I had been living in a "reality" that was not real? I had to grief of the loss of my reality and the loss of a future of endless love that I had imagined. Many people have experienced this kind of loss but there isn't enough recognition in our society that we need time and people's support to go through the grieving process.
You’re very welcome. It’s strangely lovely that I was just connecting a few folks because I literally said, there are many signs that I’m MEANT to connect you….and then you connected and I found this post. I hope it's ok if I attribute this connection not just to Tina but also to your Christopher. Sometimes, Coincidences are just too coincidental! xoxo
Many parents have found https://www.compassionatefriends.org/ to be very helpful. However, not all parents are comfortable in a group setting. Each needs to find sources and resourcea that connect and are meaningful.
In the early weeks and months after my daughter's death, I searched online for help. I found lots of simplistic "tips" for surviving grief, but very little in the way of first-person stories of other parents experiencing what we were going through. I longed to know that someone else could truly understand.
Now, through Substack, I have met other bereaved parents, and these connections help us all. Connecting does not fix the pain but helps us carry it.
'Connecting does not fix the pain but helps us carry it.'
Oh Tina, THANK YOU, this means so much and exactly says what I was hoping to achieve. I had the same experience. I saw information, platitudes when I was seeking empathy and heart.
This resource is still growing as I add more articles. I was going to add your 'start here' article about Kiki. Let me know if you have a preferred article. xo
Victoria, before I pivoted my creative work and writing to memoir, I was once a grief writer. I worked with the bereaved for almost 10 years. Please let me know how I can support this worthy effort of yours.
Hi Jeannie, many thanks for your offer of support. if you have recommendations of organisations/listening services/other resources in the USA let me know who you'd personally recommend. If you have an article you've published share the URL here so that I can share it.
All of this will evolve, but this will remain the main page. As the Substack readership grows, I hope to see a wider diversity of countries and experiences.
The main dynamic I'd like to embrace is sharing personal experiences, recommendations, and insights. Thank you!
I am so touched ... and in awe ... of this gift. To see your work featured here in this way and my name alongside all these other incredible humans filled my soul with such joy. This work isn't easy work .. it's soul work.
Thank you dear Victoria for your love and support and encouragement and witnessing.
You're very welcome, Dina. I did the first version of this Anthology in April, and it's been growing since then. However, I think it helps to have these sections. There are many empathetic voices and many readers/listeners seeking resonance. I hope this enables the connections both parties need. This is the kind of space I was seeking to know I'm not alone and read other people's journeys while I was caregiving in the dark days and after my father passed.
Thanks, Max! Exactly. It can be a tough topic, or complete denial for some!
We all go through a rollercoaster of tough discussions because discussing increasing vulnerabilities, mortality and wishes nearing the end of life and death with the loved one is emotionally charged.
We're each different, and our emotional response/reaction and approaches are all unique. There's no right or wrong here, but if I can enable greater awareness of the diverse experiences perhaps we can connect and empathise more easily with each other.
When we add in health issues, e.g. dementia the conversation is even more difficult. I discuss this a lot with caregivers in forums.
Thanks to YOU, Jackie. Your articles are poignant, vulnerable and invites us to see the bigger picture of life around grief...and remind us of great music ;-) xo
What an immensely useful way to organize these resources into sub-categories. Thank you for putting it together and including me! BTW I also wrote about ambiguous/ anticipatory/ disenfranchised grief here: https://genxandwich.substack.com/p/grief-encounters-of-the-non-death
Victoria, this is an incredibly detailed list of resources and stories. It's a bit heartbreaking that there are so many but hopeful that we have found a safe space on Substack to share our losses and our journey toward healing.
I hear you, Janine - I think we have an opportunity to, together, foster a network of support for each other and those who are newly bereaved seeking resonance. I hope each publication is a soft safe landing space for anyone who's grieving, and a connector to others. xoxo
This is a wonderfully curated list of resources, Victoria. I wish that I had had it to hand many years ago when I was newly grieving my mother, contemplating my father's imminent death and coming to terms with the news that my baby had incurred a profound brain injury from post-birth hypoxia. I did get through it all, but it is heartening to see that nobody now needs to struggle alone!
First, HUGS! Thanks Clare.
That's a heart-wrenchingly potent web of rollercoasters you've shared in just 4 lines. My condolences for the loss of each of your parents.
Thank you for subscribing and being part of our community network. You're not alone and I'm grateful for the contributions & support I know you'll be able to offer others. xo
Thank you for sharing my work, Victoria. Having the support of a community that understands this journey is so important. I appreciate all the work you do in building these connections.
You're very welcome, Pam. Thank you for these kind words of appreciation and support. This is what keeps me going!
I wish I had a resource like https://www.carermentor.com/s/icare-stack during the many moments of loss and death I’ve faced—when life was upended by accidents in an instant, the slow, excruciating decline of cancer, or the shock of an unexpected, rapid illness that ended in death before I could fully grasp what was happening.
From my own experiences with the deaths of loved ones—and even the figurative death of my old life—I’ve learned one thing: don’t do it alone. Grief isolates, and connection can heal.
Today, I found solace, comfort, and kindness here in this community while facing the slow death of the life I’ve known for 57 years. It’s not the loss of a loved one, but it carries its own weight of grief. What I’ve discovered, though, is that even in moments like this, there is a community here—people who hold space for you, who offer compassion and care.
Victoria’s Carer Mentor: Empathy & Inspiration anthology is a remarkable resource for anyone navigating grief. Whether you’re processing a recent loss or living with grief, it’s a place to find connection, understanding, and hope.
Please don’t face grief alone. Explore this resource, and if you need it, connect with this community—it’s here for you. 💛
Thank you Jay. I've just restacked your main article and suggested a few people you could connect to. I hope that's ok. Sending best wishes, hugs and a reaffirmation that you're not alone. I see you, especially after watching the whole of your video today Jan 3rd xo
Victoria, thank you so much—not only for restacking my article but for suggesting connections as well. That’s more than okay; it’s deeply appreciated and aligns beautifully with one of my intentions for this year: connection.
My intentions for 2025—healing, connection, and authorship—feel like they’re already taking root, and today has been an incredible affirmation of that. As you’ve seen in my 15 minutes of 100% self-authenticity, offline I am connectionless. Yet today has brought me more meaningful moments than I’ve experienced in years—far surpassing the one or two I might have found in an entire year before.
Your support and kindness are part of what made this day so impactful. Thank you for holding space, for seeing me, and for helping me forge the connections I need as I navigate this journey. 💛
My pleasure, Jay. xo
🫶🏼🙏
Thank you for this! As someone who writes through my trauma (and tries to bring "light into dark places", I really honor others who are working through grief. ♥
Thank you Michele! I hear you. I receive comfort as well as learn from the experiences of others. This is why I wanted Carer Mentor to be a dynamic hub and portal to connect writers & readers. I'll go and explore your work now ;-)
Thank you so much Victoria.
BIG hug!
This is such a wonderful resource. I'm honored to have Our Hundred Years be a part of it, and to find new writers to follow. Thank you, Victoria.
I missed this wonderful anthology in the midst of the collab on our other anthology on crying. What a great collection of essays and resources! Thank you for your tireless efforts!
Would you consider adding my essay on the grief of the loss of an intimate partner as betrayal revealed that I had been living in a "reality" that was not real? I had to grief of the loss of my reality and the loss of a future of endless love that I had imagined. Many people have experienced this kind of loss but there isn't enough recognition in our society that we need time and people's support to go through the grieving process.
https://open.substack.com/pub/lilypond/p/grief-is-fermentation-kimchi
Thank you!
Thanks Lily, it’s now included in the anthology. I hope its positioning makes sense. I’m glad you nominated this article. Thank you!
Thanks so much, Vicky! The position is perfect. I so appreciate that you took the time to include my article. xo
Thank you so much for putting this together. I’m glad Tina Hedlin restocked it. Please check out my Substack on grief and love as well at:
https://open.substack.com/pub/sallymcquillen
I've just had a little nosey around and adding one of your articles to this Anthology! xoxo Thank you Sally. xo
Thank you so much Victoria! Happy to be connected💕
You’re very welcome. It’s strangely lovely that I was just connecting a few folks because I literally said, there are many signs that I’m MEANT to connect you….and then you connected and I found this post. I hope it's ok if I attribute this connection not just to Tina but also to your Christopher. Sometimes, Coincidences are just too coincidental! xoxo
Many parents have found https://www.compassionatefriends.org/ to be very helpful. However, not all parents are comfortable in a group setting. Each needs to find sources and resourcea that connect and are meaningful.
In the early weeks and months after my daughter's death, I searched online for help. I found lots of simplistic "tips" for surviving grief, but very little in the way of first-person stories of other parents experiencing what we were going through. I longed to know that someone else could truly understand.
Now, through Substack, I have met other bereaved parents, and these connections help us all. Connecting does not fix the pain but helps us carry it.
Thank you, Victoria, for this wonderful resource.
https://www.compassionatefriends.org/. First person stories....
Thank you Gary!
I've added a link to your backstory and quote. Which would you like me to add?
Thank you Victoria, the quote you used is perfect. I really appreciate all the work that went into this anthology.
'Connecting does not fix the pain but helps us carry it.'
Oh Tina, THANK YOU, this means so much and exactly says what I was hoping to achieve. I had the same experience. I saw information, platitudes when I was seeking empathy and heart.
This resource is still growing as I add more articles. I was going to add your 'start here' article about Kiki. Let me know if you have a preferred article. xo
Victoria, before I pivoted my creative work and writing to memoir, I was once a grief writer. I worked with the bereaved for almost 10 years. Please let me know how I can support this worthy effort of yours.
Hi Jeannie, many thanks for your offer of support. if you have recommendations of organisations/listening services/other resources in the USA let me know who you'd personally recommend. If you have an article you've published share the URL here so that I can share it.
All of this will evolve, but this will remain the main page. As the Substack readership grows, I hope to see a wider diversity of countries and experiences.
The main dynamic I'd like to embrace is sharing personal experiences, recommendations, and insights. Thank you!
Thank you, Stuart!
I am so touched ... and in awe ... of this gift. To see your work featured here in this way and my name alongside all these other incredible humans filled my soul with such joy. This work isn't easy work .. it's soul work.
Thank you dear Victoria for your love and support and encouragement and witnessing.
I'm in awe.
You're very welcome, Dina. I did the first version of this Anthology in April, and it's been growing since then. However, I think it helps to have these sections. There are many empathetic voices and many readers/listeners seeking resonance. I hope this enables the connections both parties need. This is the kind of space I was seeking to know I'm not alone and read other people's journeys while I was caregiving in the dark days and after my father passed.
What a gift you are.
Me too.
Thank you for the work you are doing~
Speaking openly and grief, death, and dying is essential in a death-denying culture.
Thanks, Max! Exactly. It can be a tough topic, or complete denial for some!
We all go through a rollercoaster of tough discussions because discussing increasing vulnerabilities, mortality and wishes nearing the end of life and death with the loved one is emotionally charged.
We're each different, and our emotional response/reaction and approaches are all unique. There's no right or wrong here, but if I can enable greater awareness of the diverse experiences perhaps we can connect and empathise more easily with each other.
When we add in health issues, e.g. dementia the conversation is even more difficult. I discuss this a lot with caregivers in forums.
Thank you so much for this helpful and generous post, Victoria. Greatly appreciate your work x
Thanks to YOU, Jackie. Your articles are poignant, vulnerable and invites us to see the bigger picture of life around grief...and remind us of great music ;-) xo
💗
What an immensely useful way to organize these resources into sub-categories. Thank you for putting it together and including me! BTW I also wrote about ambiguous/ anticipatory/ disenfranchised grief here: https://genxandwich.substack.com/p/grief-encounters-of-the-non-death
Thanks, Anna! I've added it in after reading.
Victoria, this is an incredibly detailed list of resources and stories. It's a bit heartbreaking that there are so many but hopeful that we have found a safe space on Substack to share our losses and our journey toward healing.
Thank you for holding space for so many. ❤️
I hear you, Janine - I think we have an opportunity to, together, foster a network of support for each other and those who are newly bereaved seeking resonance. I hope each publication is a soft safe landing space for anyone who's grieving, and a connector to others. xoxo