'A Small Pause—sans définition.'
....before a new series of articles
Salut mes amis, Hello, my friends! I so appreciate you being here and being part of the Carer Mentor community.
A special welcome to all you lovely new subscribers! A big warm hug!
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Victoria. I cared for my Dad through to his passing (the hellish dark days with grains of joy), and now I look after Mum (calmer waters with giggles). In addition, I have two businesses that keep my brain cells dancing. You can read more about why I’m publishing Carer Mentor here: Who Started Carer Mentor and Why?’
This Wednesday is a short post on the cusp of some me-time. (Yay!). What does this mean? Check out this article I wrote in April, reframing ‘Respite and Freedom’. Plus, it has some fabulous George Michael music videos—worth clicking into just for those ;-)
Hello to a little Time to Pause! Unfortunately, this time, there will be fewer dinners and drinks because my destination is heaving with people. If you haven’t heard, COVID cases are on the rise. So far, in the last month, four of my friends have confirmed cases, and three hospitals I know are in lockdown with no visitors.
The world is different when you or the person you care for are immunocompromised. The risk-benefit ratio is constantly being weighed and rationalised.
Nevertheless, the risks are accounted for, choices are made, precautions are planned, and options are identified. (Well, caregivers are the best project managers on the planet! Don’t get me started on lists and Post-it reminders)!
There will be sleep, perhaps some great food, a concert or art (live or online), and a catch-up call or two with lovely friends! (Here are some links for concerts online.)
In the early days, having the luxury of me-time meant I’d make lots of plans and lists of plans and do a lot. There is always a strong argument for making the most of the time we have, ‘yes, yes, carpe diem, and all that,’ I hear you say. Well, actually, these days, I tend to be less demanding of myself.
Revelling in me-time doesn’t have to be all-action socialising, although I give myself the freedom and prerogative to change my mind and do that!
Freedom and revelry can be relishing the quiet moments or savouring the awe-inspiring view.
I’ve several ‘hopes’ of what I’d like to do. For example, I’m hoping to add more articles from other authors to The Caregiver’s Library. I’m also hoping to simply sit and stare at the awesome view without clock-watching.
It’s just that, right now, I refuse to turn hopes into ‘goals’. Chasing goals as a caregiver can lead to disappointment, while hopes can gently lift you up without expectations.
Self-compassion is an essential gift we need to give ourselves, especially when we’re tired and brain-foggy!
Sometimes, the greatest luxury for a caregiver is to have complete agency—to use our profound agility to go with the flow—sans définition.
Don’t forget that in addition to sharing our caregiver experiences and ideas in Resonance, there is a large resource of articles leveraging the wisdom of experts. These articles can support our wellbeing, emotional agility and self-compassion:
It will be lovely to read more articles and have creator-author time!
Before I go, here’s a great song.
Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten
In the heart of the song are these words:
I break tradition
Sometimes my tries are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes
But I can't live that wayStaring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not findReaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Have a great day and rest of week, lovely reader.
Thank you for being part of this wonderful community. I appreciate you.
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P.S If you have an article, a caregiver tip or an idea for an article you’d like me to write about please leave your thoughts in the comments below. xoxo
“I’m also hoping to simply sit and stare at the awesome view without clock-watching.” I love this and find it one of the hardest things to do: https://bespoketraveler.substack.com/p/reclaiming-time.
Stay safe and well Victoria!