What a compassionate letter you wrote to yourself, with the perspective of someone with unconditional love and infinite generosity of spirit. It feels as if your mother was talking with you. The way you described those gripping moments of the last stage of your mom's life squashed my heart. I'm so very glad for you, my dear friend, that you were finally able to express forgiveness and compassion to the part of you that experienced guilt about not having done enough for Freda. This new perspective is transformative. I hope you keep this vision with you and live in lightness.
Thank you Lily for this beautifully compassionate response and for seeing me in my vulnerability and my strength (the former is required for the latter, right?) Thank you for reminding me to live in love and lightness as Freda would want me to do.
Amy, as always, your writing moves me. This, " The story of Amy and Freda. We can always re-author the stories we tell ourselves. What a wonderful gift! The story of guilt and regret doesn’t serve you. Let’s tell a different story, one of love and self-compassion." I saw my relationship with my own mother here, the story of Jocelyn and Joyce and this whole piece helped me remember how short our time really is together and how much only our love for each other matters. Thank you. xoxox
Jocelyn, this makes me so happy, I am so glad it reflected for you the love story of Jocelyn and Joyce. The time together is indeed so precious. Sending a big hug to you!
I’m so glad I got to know your Mother. One time I was visiting, we were all talking about our horiscopes. Out of the blue I blurted out to Freda, “I think you’re a Scorpion”.. if I’m thinking clearly, I remember her saying “I am!, how do you know?” (She reminded me of my Mom in many ways, and Bev was a Scorpion.) maybe it was their era that reminded me of each other.? I wish you had met my mom And that we all have tea together.🥰.. both wise, loved life, and mostly our biggest fan! Sorry my sharing might be a little long but while we’re on the subject, I’d love to share a story about when my mother passed. Bev was in the nursing home for a year and a half during Covid. So we could only visit her thru the window.😥.. finally, they let us come in to visit and Mom had a butterfly card she wanted hung up in her room so she could see it. By now she was bed ridden with advanced Parkinson’s. 8 weeks later she died and I got there 2 hours after she passed. Sobbing when I left, I was glad to have said goodbye and felt her sunny spirit in the room. The next day, sitting outside with my coffee, a yellow swallowtail butterfly slowly fluttered from the garden OVER TO ME, exactly like the one on the card she had me hang up. IT WAS MOM, saying it’s ok, I’m really good and free! 😭 thank you Mom!😭😇
Amy, thank you so much for reading and for your beautiful comment. How happy I am that you got to know Freda. I loved hearing this story about Mom and her Scorpio sign, which as you know are people known for traits like passion, loyalty, and intuition which Freda had (and no doubt Bev had) and lived every day of their lives. The story about your Mom was moving to me. I really feel for all of those who had loved ones in nursing homes during the Covid, especially when they passed during that time of quarantine and restrictions. And then the yellow butterfly visiting, after receiving that card she treasured! Of course, it was your Mom, saying she was fine and free and not to worry. I don't know if you remember, but on my Substack, I wrote about the very same thing happening to me, days after Mom died, taking a walk around my apartment complex, a yellow butterfly came and fluttered all around my head and face and then alighted on a tree I had just hugged in honor of Freda. I knew it was a message, too!
Here's that essay about my yellow butterfly visit.
What a compassionate letter you wrote to yourself, with the perspective of someone with unconditional love and infinite generosity of spirit. It feels as if your mother was talking with you. The way you described those gripping moments of the last stage of your mom's life squashed my heart. I'm so very glad for you, my dear friend, that you were finally able to express forgiveness and compassion to the part of you that experienced guilt about not having done enough for Freda. This new perspective is transformative. I hope you keep this vision with you and live in lightness.
P.S. I'm with you regarding what courage means!
Thank you Lily for this beautifully compassionate response and for seeing me in my vulnerability and my strength (the former is required for the latter, right?) Thank you for reminding me to live in love and lightness as Freda would want me to do.
Amy, as always, your writing moves me. This, " The story of Amy and Freda. We can always re-author the stories we tell ourselves. What a wonderful gift! The story of guilt and regret doesn’t serve you. Let’s tell a different story, one of love and self-compassion." I saw my relationship with my own mother here, the story of Jocelyn and Joyce and this whole piece helped me remember how short our time really is together and how much only our love for each other matters. Thank you. xoxox
Jocelyn, this makes me so happy, I am so glad it reflected for you the love story of Jocelyn and Joyce. The time together is indeed so precious. Sending a big hug to you!
❤️❤️❤️
I’m so glad I got to know your Mother. One time I was visiting, we were all talking about our horiscopes. Out of the blue I blurted out to Freda, “I think you’re a Scorpion”.. if I’m thinking clearly, I remember her saying “I am!, how do you know?” (She reminded me of my Mom in many ways, and Bev was a Scorpion.) maybe it was their era that reminded me of each other.? I wish you had met my mom And that we all have tea together.🥰.. both wise, loved life, and mostly our biggest fan! Sorry my sharing might be a little long but while we’re on the subject, I’d love to share a story about when my mother passed. Bev was in the nursing home for a year and a half during Covid. So we could only visit her thru the window.😥.. finally, they let us come in to visit and Mom had a butterfly card she wanted hung up in her room so she could see it. By now she was bed ridden with advanced Parkinson’s. 8 weeks later she died and I got there 2 hours after she passed. Sobbing when I left, I was glad to have said goodbye and felt her sunny spirit in the room. The next day, sitting outside with my coffee, a yellow swallowtail butterfly slowly fluttered from the garden OVER TO ME, exactly like the one on the card she had me hang up. IT WAS MOM, saying it’s ok, I’m really good and free! 😭 thank you Mom!😭😇
Amy, thank you so much for reading and for your beautiful comment. How happy I am that you got to know Freda. I loved hearing this story about Mom and her Scorpio sign, which as you know are people known for traits like passion, loyalty, and intuition which Freda had (and no doubt Bev had) and lived every day of their lives. The story about your Mom was moving to me. I really feel for all of those who had loved ones in nursing homes during the Covid, especially when they passed during that time of quarantine and restrictions. And then the yellow butterfly visiting, after receiving that card she treasured! Of course, it was your Mom, saying she was fine and free and not to worry. I don't know if you remember, but on my Substack, I wrote about the very same thing happening to me, days after Mom died, taking a walk around my apartment complex, a yellow butterfly came and fluttered all around my head and face and then alighted on a tree I had just hugged in honor of Freda. I knew it was a message, too!
Here's that essay about my yellow butterfly visit.
https://amybrown.substack.com/p/knowing-youre-ready-for-the-next?utm_source=publication-search
When was the last time you gave yourself love, grace, stillness
Thank you Susan!