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Lani V. Cox's avatar

One of the most heartfelt suggestions I was told during my own time of grief was the read out loud to the dead. I'm sorry for your losses, Victoria, and for the challenging times you are having. I hope you are gentle with yourself, and allow space to just BE. Hugs from Cambodia, xo

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Victoria's avatar

Thanks, Lani. Funnily enough, I did talk out loud to her and reassured her that we'd keep an eye on her husband and family. The most comforting piece was writing a poem to her, remembering specific moments and things that made her, her.

Thanks the last couple of weeks has been 'holding space' time..I feel lighter these days—December was all thick with anticipatory grief, until I wrote the poem.

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Hmmm. A poem, then, distilled emotions and words. It reminds me when a friend said she wanted to write a letter to a dear family friend who had passed. xo

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Victoria's avatar

I wrote & read a letter to my Dad for his eulogy, at the funeral service.

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

Oh, wow. My goodness. That must have been hard.

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Victoria's avatar

Yes very, despite having practised it over and over, with a phonetically edited script in front of me, I cracked in the middle...must've paused for a couple of minutes...and I could feel everyone looking at me, willing me on.. and I finished it. One of my biggest reliefs, not pride...it was a non-negotiable had-to-do-it thing.

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Lani V. Cox's avatar

💞💞💞

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