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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

This gave me chills. A close friend just lost her 20-something son. I don't know how parents get through the death of a child, it's not the way the world is supposed to work. My great grandfather outlived all of his children. Another friend's son lived on a few days. Taking the risk of being a parent is such an act of bravery, staying for your other child, and to honor Nick is a powerful choice. Love you. Love younger you.

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Janine De Tillio Cammarata 🖊️'s avatar

Jodi, reading this gave me chills. There are so many ways to give birth in this world. I knew mine would include children. I always knew Nick was unique and had that feeling that started during pregnancy that he would leave sooner than I wished. I wouldn't trade all my moments with him. He has shaped who I am and is always peering over my shoulder when I write.

I'm going to hold your words close as I continue to write my memoir, which is just as much Nick's as mine. 'to honor Nick is a powerful choice.' That resonates strongly.

Thank you and sending you love right back. Your journey and how you care for your mom has helped me with mine, and it's appreciated. ❤️

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Victoria's avatar

🥺 Awww you guys... my heartswell empathy-ometer just broke!

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Siobhan Calthrop's avatar

Thank you for sharing this Janine. You've been through so much but you radiate a positive yet honest energy that is so hopeful. I'm intrigued about your connecting with Nick through dreams.

And yes, I totally agree - writing is such a healing, transformative practice.

My Pause Place is actually two places: walking my dog in beautiful fields near my house where I don't look at my phone, immerse myself in nature, listen to music. The other is my morning meditation/prayer time.

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Dr Rachel Molloy's avatar

Thank you for sharing, Janine. I am so sorry for your loss. I am so glad you have found ways to heal 'from the soulside out'. There is much we can learn from you, and the resources you've shared look amazing. I was struck by you telling yourself, 'I love you as you are', and it made me realise how seldom we say that to ourselves. I'm going to start! Like you, journalling is my refuge. I get up early when the house is quiet and write. It sorts my head out for the day.

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Janine De Tillio Cammarata 🖊️'s avatar

Thank you for your heartfelt response. ❤️

I do the same every morning. It's my sacred ritual that prioritizes what matters as I set my soul intentions for the day.

It has taken me a long time to love myself exactly as I am. I hope you notice the positive impact saying that and feeling it have for you.

Would love to hear more about 'journaling as your refuge.'

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Dr Rachel Molloy's avatar

Well, like you, I start my day with it. I write whatever is on my mind and I do note some repetition at times and some recurring themes. I try to employ some CBT principles when I am troubled by something. I do appraisals for other doctors as one of my jobs and my journalling sometimes feels like an appraisal for the soul! I find I am developing all the time and able to more efficiently process some of my more negative emotions and thoughts.

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Janine De Tillio Cammarata 🖊️'s avatar

I love the 'appraisal for the soul!' Journaling is definitely a soulful activity.

I also find that my journaling shifts with the seasons. Right now in addition to checking in with my emotions and writing daily entries, I'm in a more playful mode where I'm doodling fall themes each day.

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Mike T.'s avatar

Beautiful. Thank you.

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Victoria's avatar

Thanks for reading and commenting, Mike

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Chris B. Writes's avatar

God bless Janine, so heartfelt.

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Victoria's avatar

Thank you, Janine. My Pause Place is an oasis in my mind, where I retreat to in quiet moments. Whether I'm listening to music, journaling, or walking without a destination, these activities help transport me to that place of calm. It's not always easy to reach it or stay there, but knowing I can go there helps.

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Janine De Tillio Cammarata 🖊️'s avatar

Appreciate you sharing this, Victoria. Even a slight pause can shift body, mind, and soul. ❤️

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Victoria's avatar

❤️ Absolutely! This is one of my favourite quotes by Viktor Frankl: Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

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