Thank you, Lauren. I've saved those last two paragraphs as a helpful reminder!
Top of mind, the most unexpected place I found joy is in the quietest, most boring moments of doing nothing. It WAS unexpected, it's not anymore.
For an extrovert who was used to being on the go, connecting socially, travelling and doing numerous projects with large multi-cultural groups, I didn't expect to find joy in sitting still and watching over Dad - but in hindsight, it was a natural outcome. I was coming home to one of my core values of care/empathy, and of course, Love.
This is a terrific series, Victoria, and a truly insightful article, Lauren. I love this: "your parents will not have the same role in your life, and you won't have the same role in theirs. It's okay to grieve for what's past, but it's also okay (and recommended!) to find joy in the new roles you both have." That transition from the set of roles we've lived in our entire lives to new ones is, I think, problematic for both sides. Just don't allow it to be; you're wasting time... because it is a gift to share their last measure of time with them and an honor to care for them. Let it go, and get to what's essential.
I so melted into my chair reading the part about watching football. Whenever the Seahawks played the rest of my husband’s woes froze in time. He would raise his arms above his head in the touchdown sign and his face would overflow with joy. What I wouldn’t give for one more football game, especially against arch rival Forty-Niners. A win against them would carry him through days!
Thank you, Lauren. I've saved those last two paragraphs as a helpful reminder!
Top of mind, the most unexpected place I found joy is in the quietest, most boring moments of doing nothing. It WAS unexpected, it's not anymore.
For an extrovert who was used to being on the go, connecting socially, travelling and doing numerous projects with large multi-cultural groups, I didn't expect to find joy in sitting still and watching over Dad - but in hindsight, it was a natural outcome. I was coming home to one of my core values of care/empathy, and of course, Love.
This is a terrific series, Victoria, and a truly insightful article, Lauren. I love this: "your parents will not have the same role in your life, and you won't have the same role in theirs. It's okay to grieve for what's past, but it's also okay (and recommended!) to find joy in the new roles you both have." That transition from the set of roles we've lived in our entire lives to new ones is, I think, problematic for both sides. Just don't allow it to be; you're wasting time... because it is a gift to share their last measure of time with them and an honor to care for them. Let it go, and get to what's essential.
Lauren is such a gem! This is a lovely series 💌
Thanks, Katie!
Thank you so much for sharing your stories and your wisdom and your love. I appreciate you.
big hug, Prajna!
I so melted into my chair reading the part about watching football. Whenever the Seahawks played the rest of my husband’s woes froze in time. He would raise his arms above his head in the touchdown sign and his face would overflow with joy. What I wouldn’t give for one more football game, especially against arch rival Forty-Niners. A win against them would carry him through days!
Right? We take so much for granted. Sending love!
Aww, big hugs, Anna. Football joy.
I love this! I love the visual of a diaper genie for getting rid of unwanted or unhealthy emotions! Thanks for sharing so beautifully.
Great article. Thank you for reminding me to find my joy.