25 Comments

I have subscribed to the Ten Percent Happier app for a couple of years now. Wonderful topics, but I had not listened to this one yet. It's on my list! And leave it to you to find Ben on Substack, Victoria! Great work, as always!

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Oh my gosh, I think you need to send me your whole list of podcasts, subscriptions etc!! xoxo Thank you, dear Cherie. Ben's book is eye opening - in many ways.

Thank you. Many hugs

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Actually, Ten Percent Happier is the only podcast I listen too on a regular basis. Within the app, it only shows the last few weeks, but on Podcast App on my iPhone, it goes back years!

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Sep 4Liked by Benjamin Perry, Victoria

Thank you SO MUCH for this. I plan to buy Ben's book as a gift for one of my children who cries a great deal. We embraced this about her because why not?!

It's precious that crying didn’t just fix parts of Ben he felt were broken; it also invited in his deeper relationship with the world. xx

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Aw, thanks so much for buying the book as a gift! I hope it will help your child explore her relationship with tears, and everything it can help her learn about herself, inviting deeper intimacy and connection. Happy reading!

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You are very very welcome, hon! The book is unputdownable the first time. Highlights and notes, and notes on notes ;-)

Absolutely, embracing her wholeness and ability to feel it all is a really brave thing — this from someone trying to navigate unshed tears, and what happens when the dam periodically breaks amidst the caregiving juggling of it all.

It's a fascinating prospect to delve deeper into what is moving us to cry, rather than presuming the obvious causes or jumping to a judgement...have a read of my Q&A conversation with Ben ;-)

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Thanks @Victoria for this deep dive. I agree with Ben that tears are often so complex. When I cry, it isn’t just sadness alone, it’s mixed with anger, fear, shame, or joy. Or three emotions combined.

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Me too, Kristina. I agree. To me it feels like a unique expression of the moment, paradoxical or a multitude of additive elements; complex and very human.

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Sep 3Liked by Victoria, Benjamin Perry

I'm so impressed Ben tried crying daily.. So fascinating. Excited for the interview!

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Thanks Tiffany!

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Sep 3Liked by Benjamin Perry, Victoria

Thank you for introducing us to Rev. Perry and their book - planning to listen to the podcast today and looking forward to the interview!

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Happy listening!

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Thanks, Anna! I think you’ll enjoy it - I guess I’m biased now though! ;-)

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I've got this episode of 10 Percent queued up for later today! Thanks, Victoria!

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Thanks, Sarah! Spoiler alert: You may start to ponder when the last time you cried, who cries more or less than you, and possible reasons.

I feel like I've pulled a thread, and there's so much to ponder now...perhaps this is how Alice felt in Wonderland, wondering...

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Sep 3Liked by Victoria, Benjamin Perry

I just got to this statement in the podcast from Benjamin Perry, who said he and others have observed anecdotally, "People who don't cry often have a much harder time moving through grief." Interesting! On brief reflection, I'd say that letting my tears flow as my mom declined -- instead of holding back and pretending I was fine -- was helpful for me. Very interesting podcast ...

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Yeah, it's fascinating. I get into some of physiology of weeping in my book and there's likely a biological component to why we feel better after crying, but it's also so intertwined with how crying solicits care and builds intimacy. To move through grief instead of burying it demands a full confrontation with the magnitude of what we lost.

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Sep 3Liked by Victoria

Great introduction to Rev. Perry! I can't believe I wrote an essay a while ago that had the headline similar to his book, without knowledge of it. The podcast was eye-opening and also validating to my own take on crying. So much good stuff here. Look forward to your interview tomorrow.

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Thanks, Louisa! I associate 'Cry baby' with that all-too-common playground taunt from a bully needing to feel superior, or children who didn't understand other kids who look different.

I'm looking forward to reading your thoughts and comments! Thanks.

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Sep 3Liked by Victoria, Benjamin Perry

Wow can't wait to read Ben's interview!

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Thanks Rachel. Once I'd read the book, it was hard to limit the questions. There were SO many great points! I was impressed by the way Ben articulated his thoughts and insights.

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Sep 3Liked by Victoria, Benjamin Perry

Excited for part 2! This is fabulous, I picked the book up a few days ago, and it’s truly so insightful 📖🕯️

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Sep 3·edited Sep 3Author

I've a feeling we may need to ask Ben if we can do a specific Discussion Thread on his book with him. I'm sure other readers will have the same reaction. I know I did! Thanks for sharing and your comment Bakhtawar!

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Sep 3Liked by Benjamin Perry, Victoria

That would be awesome! And no problem :))

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Thanks so much for picking up the book! I'm so grateful for any ways it helps to nurture a gentler world. Happy reading!

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