Creating a 'ComfortZone' and rekindling inspiration and hope.
December: curiosity, connection and compassion.
Hello, dear Readers, and to all you New Subscribers! Thank you for spending some of your precious time and energy here.
I’m Victoria (She/her/hers). You can read more about why I’m publishing Carer Mentor here: Who Started Carer Mentor and Why?’
Last Month
The November Carer Mentor article series, ‘For the Caregiver’ (click here), coincided with National Family Caregiver Month in the US and Carers Rights Day on November 21st, as well as the UK Autumn Budget and, of course, the US Election.
I don’t think anyone is blind to the sadness, fear, worry and uncertainty around us. At the same time, our hearts and minds are exhausted as this year comes to a close.
My Today
In my small mentoring business, clients face new company reorganisations, are trying to find more fulfilling jobs or are trying to avoid burnout—all after a full rollercoaster year.
Closer to home and heart, very close friends are struggling with cancer treatment.
On the other hand, I’m counting the blessings Mum and I have. I’m SO thankful for our calmer days after COVID+pneumonia.
There’s frustration, pain, and gratitude. I’m straddling the tension between all these emotions—not wanting to betray the pain with the relief of gratitude, wanting to help friends but knowing how fraught caregiving is… wanting to do much more than I can, running on the spot and not going anywhere.
This is when I know I need to pause, replenish my empathy, and feed my soul to continue caring for and supporting my friends and clients.
I’ve been here before. For me, this isn’t about stopping; it’s redirecting and re-channelling. (Of course, there are moments to rest but this itch of frustration is spreading).
When the prickly feelings of angst, frustration and sadness poke at my comfort and zen, movement is the first thing I have to do. Treadmill-walk-run-walking daily.
Sloughing off the emotion.
Our Tomorrow and the following days.
In December, I want to try to focus on hope rather than sadness—no toxic positivity, no silver linings, no denial of the yuck.
I’ve found that podcasts, music and other well-chosen stimuli and connections to insights can comfort me.
Those moments that I can say, ‘I’m not alone in thinking this! Oh, that’s a great way of articulating it.’
Acknowledging the needling angst and uncertainty, I choose to rekindle inspiration and connect with compassion curiously.
How
You’ll see a section called ‘ComfortZone’ in the website's main menu (see the desktop version of Carer Mentor). It already contains:
This Caregiver's Watchlist. 'Feel the feels', escape reality or be transported by music.
I’ll revisit my year-end journaling prompts, books, podcasts, and meditative music to spark insights and inspiration. This helps me reframe my inner angst.
You too?
I’ll share the recommendations with you in the ComfortZone section.
Something may resonate, spark an insight, rekindle inspiration, or offer hope and comfort. This is my hope for you.
Thoughtful Resonance
I recommend reading this article by
. Who writesThank you, Vicki.
Given my priorities, this month's publication days may be more unpredictable than usual.
Heartfelt empathy for Caregivers. A hub of practical tools, resources, and experts' insights. A portal of hope and community network.
Hope: to reclaim my light, fly together and connect in empathy.
I wish for hope to lift me up to carry me, support me and make me feel. Be. Light? Around in dark the air is thin. There are no walls but fear jailed myself. Fly? Leashed by fear struggling to reframe Connect to feel empathy, Exhale the breath held. Relief? I need help to change my response break from defaults reframe our lens to free? See, and be a path forward. Together? HOPE Be the light, myself. Fly, exhale the breath held, relief, reframe our lens to Free. See And Be, A path forward, Together. HOPE!
P.S. This started playing as I finished the poem. A sign ❤️
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Thank you!
Agree sometimes it is necessary to step back and 'breathe'. Your posts help me to do this Victoria. You acknowledge that caring can become overwhelming at times and there are very difficult days and easier days and this is natural. Thank you.
Victoria, thank you for this beautiful reminder. I have been in the throes of caring for my mom with two stays in the hospital for pneumonia. Now we are getting care in the home finally, yet she still fights it. The tensions are high but you remind me that movement is key. Hope is in the compassion I hold for my mom and care and space I give myself.
I also do an end-of-the-year journal review and will share that once I get the chance to write the post.
Your poem hit home for me. So grateful for your presence in this community!❤️✨