Thank you for this excellent article and the many great links and resources. I have been through caring for parents and friends, and you bring up such key points. I live with multiple sclerosis and when I was single there were times I needed to hire caregivers. There’s an art to receiving care also. I noted your comment about the tendenc…
Thank you for this excellent article and the many great links and resources. I have been through caring for parents and friends, and you bring up such key points. I live with multiple sclerosis and when I was single there were times I needed to hire caregivers. There’s an art to receiving care also. I noted your comment about the tendency in the west to gloss over the realities. I think that’s true to some extent. I have a masters in Rehabilitation counseling. I used to do workshops on adjusting to change and loss associated with chronic illness ir disability. I wrote a workbook (around 100 pages) that helps people work through tasks of grieving associated with health issues/disability. I found some people very grateful and ready to have a space to acknowledge losses and changes they have experienced. But one MS support group leader crossed her arms and said she didn’t have any losses. “I have MS but MS doesn’t have me,” she said along with other platitudes. Unacknowledged grief is a source of stress. But denial is the mode some people prefer to hide behind. Of course I honor people’s individual perspectives and process. I’m in the US.
Hi Susan, Thank you so much for taking the time to write this comment. I appreciate your perspective as I'm sure many others will too.
YES 'There's an art to receiving care also' - HOW TRUE! I say this in capitals because even the most mild-mannered, accepting people who are in pain may struggle to ask/receive care. An excellent point!
I hear you while I wrote that in the 'West we tend to gloss over the realities', that is a broad generalisation and stereotyping considering that there are highly diverse and varied attitudinal reactions to health issues/disabilities. So yes, I agree being curiously open-hearted and respecting individual's feelings/attitude is essential for connecting.
I am very glad to have come across your writing this morning and delighted to connect. I love that you have put so much heart into a topic that will touch most of our lives at some point. I think about the anguish I have felt at different junctures when I felt needed to help with caregiving while at the same time living with a challenging condition that doesn’t take vacations at just the right times. I can’t always see to drive confidently across distances. When my dad was dying (the time stretched on over several years as he fought cancer), I did what I could to help. I’m thankful for a brother who pitched in all he could as well. Caregivers need love and support. People are often stretched farther than they could have imagined to serve loved ones. Your comments about passwords and permissions hit home too. It’s so important to simplify these things before a crisis hits.
Thank you for your kind words of support Susan! ❤️
I'm sending over a big hug of understanding and empathy - we are both expert linguists in the caregiver language ;-)
I really feel for all you've been through and go through now with your condition.
Yes, I felt like an elastic band that kept getting stretched and stretched and when I thought I would snap and couldn't go possibly go further, I did, but I was so scared of 'snapping' that I became an (uncertified) expert at emotional agility and disciplined myself into becoming fitter...partly for myself, but more to keep going!
I'm so glad we're connected too! I'm saving our exchange for my notes and to try to keep close! Thank you.
Thank you for this excellent article and the many great links and resources. I have been through caring for parents and friends, and you bring up such key points. I live with multiple sclerosis and when I was single there were times I needed to hire caregivers. There’s an art to receiving care also. I noted your comment about the tendency in the west to gloss over the realities. I think that’s true to some extent. I have a masters in Rehabilitation counseling. I used to do workshops on adjusting to change and loss associated with chronic illness ir disability. I wrote a workbook (around 100 pages) that helps people work through tasks of grieving associated with health issues/disability. I found some people very grateful and ready to have a space to acknowledge losses and changes they have experienced. But one MS support group leader crossed her arms and said she didn’t have any losses. “I have MS but MS doesn’t have me,” she said along with other platitudes. Unacknowledged grief is a source of stress. But denial is the mode some people prefer to hide behind. Of course I honor people’s individual perspectives and process. I’m in the US.
Hi Susan, Thank you so much for taking the time to write this comment. I appreciate your perspective as I'm sure many others will too.
YES 'There's an art to receiving care also' - HOW TRUE! I say this in capitals because even the most mild-mannered, accepting people who are in pain may struggle to ask/receive care. An excellent point!
I hear you while I wrote that in the 'West we tend to gloss over the realities', that is a broad generalisation and stereotyping considering that there are highly diverse and varied attitudinal reactions to health issues/disabilities. So yes, I agree being curiously open-hearted and respecting individual's feelings/attitude is essential for connecting.
I am very glad to have come across your writing this morning and delighted to connect. I love that you have put so much heart into a topic that will touch most of our lives at some point. I think about the anguish I have felt at different junctures when I felt needed to help with caregiving while at the same time living with a challenging condition that doesn’t take vacations at just the right times. I can’t always see to drive confidently across distances. When my dad was dying (the time stretched on over several years as he fought cancer), I did what I could to help. I’m thankful for a brother who pitched in all he could as well. Caregivers need love and support. People are often stretched farther than they could have imagined to serve loved ones. Your comments about passwords and permissions hit home too. It’s so important to simplify these things before a crisis hits.
Ah. Much appreciation for you. Wish I could give you a big hug as well.
Received! Thank you for subscribing ;-)
Thank you for your kind words of support Susan! ❤️
I'm sending over a big hug of understanding and empathy - we are both expert linguists in the caregiver language ;-)
I really feel for all you've been through and go through now with your condition.
Yes, I felt like an elastic band that kept getting stretched and stretched and when I thought I would snap and couldn't go possibly go further, I did, but I was so scared of 'snapping' that I became an (uncertified) expert at emotional agility and disciplined myself into becoming fitter...partly for myself, but more to keep going!
I'm so glad we're connected too! I'm saving our exchange for my notes and to try to keep close! Thank you.