26 Comments

Thanks Victoria

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Thanks for reading! xo

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Sometimes we must just embrace the mess - yes!

The New Year feels like a good time to reflect and set intentions for many, but if it doesn't, and it just feels like a "should" - what's the point?! Thanks as always for your generous empathy toward all the caregivers in our various chapters. ❤️

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Thanks, Anna! 'Should' is relegated to a swear word in my book ;-) I'm gently giving myself more space...not only on the eve of my Dad's death but also because our good friend passed just after I hit publish on this article...holding space to remember these unique special souls. There is potent magic and life in all this, but not around numbers/goals/achievements...reflections and intentions are materialising that feel right and with a lot of heart xoxo❤️

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Well done and so very relatable. Especially the Envy in grief at this time of the year. The Envy, how everyone else gets to say they’re not available for work because it’s a holiday but when your caregiving there are no holidays.

Thank you for this. Lovely poem and encouragement.

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Thanks, Prajna. Exactly. For many caregivers I know this time is MORE stressful with agency-carer support more limited, or people bringing flu / covid into homes with immunocompromised people....and well you know what it's like.

And yet, we count our blessings and focus on the beauty of the small moments —where there's magic and soul.

Best wishes to you and your girls and furbaby - Woody (that's his name right?) xo

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Thx yes Woody

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Thank you for acknowledging all the messiness and complexities of this time of year. Also, what a beautiful poem. The "glue of love" is a phrase that will stay with me!

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Thanks, Christine! Human messiness can be beautiful, especially when glued with love ;-) I keep thinking of the Japanese art of Kintsugi,

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Oh I love that art form and what a powerful metaphor it is for our own brokeness.

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Yes! Our brokeness & imperfections are our human-ness, our growth & beauty, if we choose to see them that way.

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Beautifully said Victoria, and wishing you a gentle transition into the new year ❤️

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Thank you Vicki. The same to you xo

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Hi Vicky! Thank you for holding the space for all of us who aren't celebrating the new year in the conventional way and encouraging us to "make space for the inevitable uncertainty, sadness and sometimes fear." And this is just so true: "A date on the calendar does not control our feelings and emotional state—in fact, it can even exacerbate them for caregivers! The date may change, but we can’t conveniently reschedule uncertainty, discomfort, or fear for another time."

I'm someone who prefers not to go through the festivities in November and December due to my past trauma. While staying at a distance from family (aka mom), I also have experienced guilt and fear (of her state of health). It was a delicate tightrope to walk on. This year I chose myself and am glad to have done so because I needed that space and time to heal. But I also have made the promise to visit and care for my mom at Lunar New Year. She will have an eye surgery so it's time for me to step up as a caregiver again (which makes this month such a precious time to be alone and reset my nervous system).

My warmest wishes to you and gratitude for your generous spirit.

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Hello hon. You're very welcome. I'm glad this resonated with you and offered empathy for your feelings at this time of year. Walking alongside you. Take care xo

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What a beautiful poem and I absolutely love Brené Brown. I love our synchronistic thoughts as well!

I’m in a quiet place today. Woke with my neck and back hurting and worried about returning swallowing issues. Then realized it’s all due to tension. Rolled things out and it’s a little better. Finding calm when things don’t feel right is my only goal as I bring in the new year. My wife is also working and I will be alone. I’m looking forward to what that means. I CAN be left alone. No caretaker. Just me even though I’m still bedbound. Enjoying some solitude and doing what makes me happy. No resolutions. No big plans. Just quiet time with myself and that I can do that is more than enough.

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HUGS! Thanks, Keisha. Very cool our thoughts are in synch❤️

I'm glad to hear you managed to roll out some of the tension. Have a lovely relaxed evening.xo

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Thanks so much! Same to you!!

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Yes to happy messy human days. Thank you for this, Victoria. Lots of love.

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You're welcome, thanks for being here and commenting, dear Tiffany. HUGS and love!

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Victoria, you have a remarkable ability to articulate my feelings. Thank you. I wish you the best that life has to offer in 2025.

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Thank you, dear Sammie. My best wishes to you both.

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Beautiful, Victoria! While I am in an anticipatory mood with my upcoming move Feb 2nd to Barcelona, and do enjoy (and feel quite ready for) my current explorations for intentions, new directions, a word of the year, a retrospective view of the past year, I know it isn't for everyone and how compassionate and thoughtful this "permission" essay is. I think it is very sensible to let this period of time of "unknowing" what you would like from the new year to extend as long as it needs to with our human messiness. Much love to you and wishing you a new year of peace and love.

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Thank you dear Amy. YES! A Permission essay...exactly! Magic and excitement will appear...that's the beauty of life...I think we've got wise to hastening change, speed. Barcelona will be amazing and you deserve all the goodness to come...sending love and hugs

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Thank you Victoria! Maybe on a trip to England next year where I have family we can meet IRL😀

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xo❤️

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