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Victoria's avatar

Thank you for sending this letter, Mary Beth.

The one thing I try to do - practice mindfulness - to focus my attention on the task at hand, in an informal practice or a meditation, to centre myself. A recent refresher course helped me realise how much I've leaned on this over the years.

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Mary Beth Kaplan🪶's avatar

Thank YOU, Victoria! This series is much needed by many. Hope it helps! And yes, breaking down what’s right in front of us,…”noticing…what is it that my heart needs right now?” Taking just a moment can change everything.

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Janine De Tillio Cammarata 🖊️'s avatar

Mary Beth,

Thank you for sharing your story about your son. I wish all of you healing and joy.

My son, Nick, was diagnosed with ALL at age 12 and sadly passed away four months later.

“You watched your, ‘our’, boy go from a healthy, happy child to a depressed and anxious one in a matter of months.

I know you beat yourself up for not doubling down on bloodwork when you took him in to be seen that day. You trusted your provider.”

Your words resonate so much with me because there was a marked difference in Nick's behavior a few months before his diagnosis. I fought with his GP to get a blood test and it was four weeks later that a dermatologist finally did that to see what this rash was.

Our Child Life Specialist gave Nick so many beautiful memories in that short time.

It was an extremely lonely time for me as the challenges and side effects Nick experienced didn’t leave time to grow those connections. That happened with families when we formed a foundation to help with many of the items you offered as advice.

My biggest self-care practice that held me during this time and pulled me out of a long rough time was and still is journaling. So much so that I share that offering with others now. Being in that Pause Place to scribble, reflect, take detailed notes, and give myself grace has helped me along my healing journey.

I appreciate your advice to your younger self and look forward to reading your poetry. ❤️

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Mary Beth Kaplan🪶's avatar

Oh Janine, I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear son, Nick.🫂I appreciate your sweet and generous wish of healing and joy. So kind. I know you know, he is still with you every single day.

I’m sorry you had to struggle so hard to get that blood work! Gosh that is so frustrating! You were/are a warrior for your baby. I feel less alone. I can’t believe we both had the same issue!

How beautiful you’ve created a foundation to help others💛You are bringing such light to families in their darkest moments. Angel work!

I love that journaling carries you like it carries me. It’s been the one thing that I can rely on without waver. That blank page absolutely saves.

Thank you for taking a moment to read. I’m sure it isn’t easy to reflect and take in content that may be triggering.🙏🏼 Sending you my sincere thoughts. And I’m here if you ever wanna chat. I truly appreciate your candor, Janine.💛Hugs mama.

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Victoria's avatar

BIG hugs, Janine. Thank you for this heartfelt comment. I can feel the resonance. xo

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Mary Beth Kaplan🪶's avatar

Victoria’s the best!🫂💛🙏🏼✨✨✨✨

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Victoria's avatar

Awww shucks thanks. It's you guys sharing that strengthens the safe space for others!

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Janine De Tillio Cammarata 🖊️'s avatar

Thank you for this space! Such beautiful letters!

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Siobhan Calthrop's avatar

Thank you for this beautiful letter Mary Ann. A close friend of mine has gone through this with her 17 yo daughter a couple of years ago so I know how life alteringly hard this must have been for you. Her husband had just left her too… her daughter is now well thanks to a bone marrow transplant from her younger sister.

I loved line “conversations without bitterness that let the light in”. My relationship with God is also what helps me get through, and writing.

Nourishing my soul with space to hear God’s affirming love and space to write keeps me going. That and walking in nature, swimming outdoors and seeing friends (essential!)

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Mary Beth Kaplan🪶's avatar

Oh Siobhan! Thank you so much for reading. And sharing!! My heart goes out to your friend! I'm so glad to hear that her daughter is well! How incredibly hard that had to be for her and her family. I'm sure you were steadfast with your support. Helping them through. Our dear circles of support are so generous and allow us the space to continue on through these excruciating moments. Prayers continued for your friends. I love all your ways you take care of your own heart. xo

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Victoria's avatar

Aww Siobhan, I'm so sorry to hear about your close friend's experiences. I'm glad to hear her daughter is well.

When I first connected with Mary Beth - nearly a couple of years ago now, on here! - my heart cinched at everything she and her family were going through too.

best wishes xo

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Mary Beth Kaplan🪶's avatar

So, grateful for our connection, Victoria!

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Robin Motzer's avatar

Such strength you have, Mary Beth, glad things are ok, too!

My self care: Breathe and spend time in nature to move my body and observe and connect with nature. Art, poetry and writing are my go to's as well. My life's calling/ my vocation is part of my life, and is part of self care, too, which is documented in Wildlands.

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Mary Beth Kaplan🪶's avatar

You are kind, Robin🙏🏼thank you! grateful for those that keep me standing. I love your self-care. I’d love to know your favorite poet? Isn’t it like magic? Our creativity is such medicine💛🥰

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Robin Motzer's avatar

Thanks, Mary Beth, that’s a nice response and appreciated, too.

I go deep, so here are a few: Rumi, Rilke and Mary Oliver.

I am blessed to have been born creative and have been an artist, poet, writer since a very early age. When I don’t “do my thing”, it shows and sometimes it’s not pretty. lol.

And much gratitude for your support. I work on the road and am growing my business throughout the U.S. and internationally. I ask for patience re: my engagement and support, too. 💛🥰

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Mary Beth Kaplan🪶's avatar

Ahhh, thank you for sharing, Robin.🙏🏼Mary has been such a teacher for me. And completely understand…not expressing creativity is like not getting that necessary morning cup at times😄look out!😂 I look forward to exploring your substack. You are doing much needed, important work. I know I will learn from you💛 thank you for sharing it!

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Robin Motzer's avatar

You are welcome, Mary Beth. Exactly, it's like not getting something necessary. I'm glad you resonate with Mary, too. She continues to be such a great teacher. One of her famous quotes that really resonates for me: "Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift."

Thank you also for supporting Wildlands. The community is growing and so are the projects throughout the U.S. and internationally. If you'd like to be a part of healing the earth and self, please let me know. I'd love to have you jpin us. We have an amazing group of people. And I also look forward to knowing you. Of course, you are so welcome. 🙏🏼💛 xx

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Robin Motzer's avatar

Who are your favs?

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Mary Beth Kaplan🪶's avatar

Ooo…of course Mary Oliver…Shakespeare, Emily Dickinson, Andrea Gibson, haiku masters Basho and Shika, Guru Nanak, James Crews, and my friend Ellen Rowland…she’s here on substack. Just arrived. She hosts some beautiful poetry gatherings if you are ever inclined. I will send you her link💛

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Robin Motzer's avatar

That’s a great list! Yes, I’d love to be a part of poetry gatherings. Please do send a link. That’s been on my list to do, start an art and poetry gathering and I will eventually. In the meantime, I’d love to be a part of Ellen’s. Thanks! 💛

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Victoria's avatar

Thanks for sharing, Robin. I feel the zen calm between those lines. ❤️

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Robin Motzer's avatar

You are welcome, Victoria. Thanks for providing the space to share and support one another. Zen is for sure; my holistic healthcare background is applied to my daily life. It's the only way I can Be. ❤️

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Jason Kaplan's avatar

I am honored, lucky, privileged, and grateful to be your husband. You are stronger than you know and wiser than you think!

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Mary Beth Kaplan🪶's avatar

Love ya, babe. ‘Goonies never say die’🏴‍☠️

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Victoria's avatar

Awwwww

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Heidi Behr, LCSW's avatar

Mary Beth, thank you for sharing this letter with us, with sharing such love with your younger self. Girl, you got through all that!! You are a survivor, mama! Your boy is a survivor, mama! I love how you continued to care for yourself that whole time and wow, what a difference it made (is still making). It has been a privilege in honor to walk this journey with you 🙏🏼💕😘

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Mary Beth Kaplan🪶's avatar

Thank you, sweet friend🙏🏼💛 your friendship was pivotal in my care. I appreciate you so much! Hugs!!🤗

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Dr Rachel Molloy's avatar

So beautifully written, Mary Beth, and so very relatable. I would also echo journalling for self care. I discovered its power perhaps a year into my recent caregiving journey. I try to write at least a few sentences every day, and it keeps my head straight! Thank you for sharing this.

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Mary Beth Kaplan🪶's avatar

Aw, thank you, Rachel🙏🏼 it’s like our own secret sacred space. Just for us. Wishing you love and care on your caregiving journey.💛 Thank you for taking a moment to read.

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Diana Wiese's avatar

Thank you for sharing your journey, Mary Beth! I’m so glad and happy for you that y’all are ok!

As for my helpful habit- I read a poem or inspirational quote every morning, and I journal in the evening.

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Mary Beth Kaplan🪶's avatar

Thanks, Diana! I love your practice! Seems so simple. But, it packs such a huge impact on daily life, when we consistently take a moment. Appreciate you sharing💛

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Victoria's avatar

Thank you for reading and sharing your inspiring habit, Diana! That's a great idea.

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