Personal Reflections & Resource: 'Dr. Brené Brown: The Power of Vulnerability.'

June 2010 the TEDxHouston talk that went viral. (Now 63 million views). Human connection, empathy, belonging and love.

I saw this, for the first time, in 2015 and I’ve shared it countless times, since then.

‘Connection is neurobiologically why we’re here and gives meaning to our lives’

So why do people not connect more? What’s pushing disconnection? Shame.

Questions like, ‘Are we worthy? Do we belong? Are we enough?’.

For Carers we are overwhelmed, isolated by the act of caring itself, and undervalued. It’s easy to see how we are an invisible and marginalized group in today’s society. Not generating money, not worthy of value; shame? It seems like today’s economic measures prefer to drive acquisition, instead of valuing the skills and capabilities that literally nurture long-term community health; empathy, and connection.

It’s no wonder why Carers may shy away from connecting. Not only because our caring schedule is not 9 to 5, but also because when we have ‘me time’ time and meet new people or friends’ we can end up answering a lot of questions about caring; explaining it, qualifying our decisions/life choices or in the worst cases feel judged or swept aside. Society doesn’t exactly lift up a Carer’s role in the community. There tends to be more sympathy and pity, rather than empathy. So, I admit, I’d rather catch up on my sleep or go for a walk outside.

Time is my gold dust.

Recommendation & Learnings:

BUT, here’s the kicker I still recommend reaching out. We all need some sort of connection. Choose, how, when, and the people you want to connect with!

1. Define your boundaries. Time is precious and when it is 100% yours (no routine, or monitoring the person you care for, or endless litany of errands or tasks to complete), do exactly what you want, to refill your cup of energy and recharge that slightly broken heart.

2. Remind yourself that you can’t make people understand, or help them to be more empathetic. It’s not within our control to make anyone do anything. We can appreciate the people who ARE empathetic. I’d recommend defining your boundaries over wasting energy.

3. Try one of the Carer online forums. Connecting with other Carers will be a relief, it was for me. There are many similar experiences out there, even if your situation is highly personal and different. You’ll feel empathy. The best thing about the forums is that you can spend 5 minutes on any day, to check in, share non-caring related news or jokes, and be yourself.

Online forums allow you to post comments at any time of day or night. When you can’t sleep, or monitoring a loved one pulling an all-nighter, other Carers are awake and virtually, sitting alongside you.

A place to start try Carers UK’s forum for Carers; Carers Connect (this is anonymous) or The mobilise Hub community online, or on their facebook page

If you need to vent, have a question, or need tips these forums are great.

From the TED Website Ideas worth spreading:

Share the video with others: https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability?language=en

Brené Brown studies human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share.

Brené Brown

Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston, where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at the Graduate College of Social Work. She is also a visiting professor in management at The University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business.

Brown has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame and empathy. She's the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness and Dare to Lead, which is the culmination of a seven-year study on courage and leadership.

Brown hosts the Unlocking Us podcast, and her 2010 TED Talk, "The power of vulnerability," is one of the most viewed talks in the world. She is the first researcher to have a filmed lecture on Netflix; The Call to Courage special debuted on the streaming service in April 2019. She lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband, Steve. They have two children, Ellen and Charlie. 

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