It is all those small things that add up in addition to the big things. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I could not imagine raising young children while caring for my husband. And that one small gesture? I had a friend help sell my husbands car for me and another help build a shower in our bathroom. I am so blessed to have had that help in the begining.
My "little thing" has been not saying, "You just asked that question five minutes ago!" 100 times a day. Instead, each time the question is asked, I answer it as if he just asked the question for the first time that day. That makes him feel secure, and it reminds me that this one little thing provides comfort instead of confusion. There is so little that I can control, but I can control this!!
I really appreciate you talking about the importance of "small things" in caregiving. When I was caring for my mom with dementia, I remember the day I made the decision to place her in an assisted-living facility. I was so distraught, and when a good friend stopped by, I threw myself into her arms and sobbed. My friend being there for me that day made all the difference. Ironically, that same friend was diagnosed with a glioblastoma a few years later, and I was able to provide small comforts for her.
I’m so glad she could be there in that way for you, @Helen Landalf. You’ll never forget that. And I’m sorry she is now dealing with glioblastoma. It is an insidious disease.
I'm so sorry she passed, Helen. But I love hearing about your husband's long survivor rate! Hoping my own spouse gets at least that long too, though with glioblastoma we know to be grateful for any of the days he gets.
This is such a great post. Hard to pick one little thing that mattered among so many that people have done along the way, always without asking. The friend who drove three hours just to lay next to my mom in her bed in Memory Care. My mom never woke up but my friend stayed there for an hour and then drove home, happy. The mom and daughter who showed up and cleaned my kitchen after I'd dislocated my shoulder and broken three ribs. It is no small thing to show you care.
The first time we took Olivia, aged 3 months, to visit my family. Olivia has Downs Syndrome, ASD & ADHD (we were yet to find out the 2nd two). At the time she had a serious heart condition and was awaiting surgery. We were knackered. My sister greeted us, took her niece from me at the door, popped her over her shoulder, then took her off for a bath. For the first time since giving birth, I actually relaxed.
It is all those small things that add up in addition to the big things. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I could not imagine raising young children while caring for my husband. And that one small gesture? I had a friend help sell my husbands car for me and another help build a shower in our bathroom. I am so blessed to have had that help in the begining.
My "little thing" has been not saying, "You just asked that question five minutes ago!" 100 times a day. Instead, each time the question is asked, I answer it as if he just asked the question for the first time that day. That makes him feel secure, and it reminds me that this one little thing provides comfort instead of confusion. There is so little that I can control, but I can control this!!
OMG! I can relate, @Anne!
I question if there really are any "small things." As you so beautifully point out, even the smallest of actions has the most profound effects.
Thank you, @Cathy Joseph!
I really appreciate you talking about the importance of "small things" in caregiving. When I was caring for my mom with dementia, I remember the day I made the decision to place her in an assisted-living facility. I was so distraught, and when a good friend stopped by, I threw myself into her arms and sobbed. My friend being there for me that day made all the difference. Ironically, that same friend was diagnosed with a glioblastoma a few years later, and I was able to provide small comforts for her.
I’m so glad she could be there in that way for you, @Helen Landalf. You’ll never forget that. And I’m sorry she is now dealing with glioblastoma. It is an insidious disease.
She actually passed away a little over a year ago. My husband, however, is a 33-year survivor of brain cancer (astrocytoma)!
I'm so sorry she passed, Helen. But I love hearing about your husband's long survivor rate! Hoping my own spouse gets at least that long too, though with glioblastoma we know to be grateful for any of the days he gets.
This is such a great post. Hard to pick one little thing that mattered among so many that people have done along the way, always without asking. The friend who drove three hours just to lay next to my mom in her bed in Memory Care. My mom never woke up but my friend stayed there for an hour and then drove home, happy. The mom and daughter who showed up and cleaned my kitchen after I'd dislocated my shoulder and broken three ribs. It is no small thing to show you care.
Those acts are exquisite in the circumstances we are finding ourselves in, @Edie Morgan. Thank you for sharing!
The first time we took Olivia, aged 3 months, to visit my family. Olivia has Downs Syndrome, ASD & ADHD (we were yet to find out the 2nd two). At the time she had a serious heart condition and was awaiting surgery. We were knackered. My sister greeted us, took her niece from me at the door, popped her over her shoulder, then took her off for a bath. For the first time since giving birth, I actually relaxed.
What a wonderful thing, and that she did it wordlessly… she just KNEW. That is really something, Cooky!
She had 2 kids of her own and had trained as a midwife, I was in good hands
oooof I can feel that deep exhale, Cooky. Thanks for sharing.