When you can see and want to help, but are not sure how a poem like this emerges. [Written in 2023]
When I wrote this poem, the stream of frustrations flowed fast.
Caregiving for me, in 2023, was VERY different from 2019. the year before Dad passed.
From this vantage point, I could survey my experience with grief and trepidation, past and future. My heart ached for other caregivers and what they were enduring today. And so I stood with a mix of impotence, fear, worry and anxiety.
Can we pause, be aware and listen to help each other?
If I could. A Poem by Victoria
If I could I’d translate the language of Carers, take their pain and fear, the needs of their loved ones and like a stenographer translating with a machine metabolise what I hear to meaningful support and actions Tailored to perfection, like a bespoke Savile Row suit, chalked to fit, smoothed into the lines of THEIR existing well-worn routine. If I could, I’d point and draw a line on the ground to create boundaries to exclude the stresses or strains of people and issues that try to punctuate the veil and disrupt the calm. Shield. And in this frail cocoon of hope, We’d grow our light, warm in empathy despite the surrounding pain if I could If I could, there would be no ‘shoulds’, ‘No!’ to never-ending hats to wear or roles to perform For everyone except ourselves. No forms to fill out or societal norms to counter or explain We’d be the glue for love, not to fill the gaps in productivity systems Or be the constant communication stream which feeds the health machine If I could, there’d be a village of raised hands to support the needs of the many in mutual appreciation and care, Instead of loneliness, isolation, and insomniac non-restorative sleep, We’d celebrate the tiny joys and relief If I could, I’d share a deep sound, a musical resonance of trust and comfort One chorus to instil confidence, Hands to connect and offer home-comfort care to reassure or embrace those in pain and need. Then, listen with open-hearted willingness and time, for the support that THEY said they need To feel wanted and believed, An individual unto themselves and seen not a caregiving go-between-machine. If I could Could we?
Reach out to someone you know who’s caring for a family member, send a card to someone exhausted or busy, give someone a generous compliment about what they do, or say, ‘I appreciate you. Thank you for being you.’
Please ‘❤️’ LIKE the article to guide others here.
Carer Mentor by Victoria is free to read. If you have the means and would like to support the publication, I welcome monthly (£6) and annual (£50) subscriptions. Thank you for your ongoing support.