Community Outreach: Caregivers/Carers

💬 For Caregivers/Carers - meet and greet with an icebreaker

Hello, Dear Reader! Welcome to our new Carer Mentor community members!

I’m Victoria. You can read why I’m publishing Carer Mentor here: Who Started Carer Mentor and Why?

For anyone who’s helping someone with a chronic illness or condition, here’s a space to introduce yourself, share a thought, and meet others

[For carers, former carers, caregivers, friends/neighbours, family members, and anyone who is supporting someone with a chronic illness, condition, or health issue]

I hope this can be the start of several discussion/insight exchanges, networking our support of each other. (A new topic opens the last week of every month)

The format is inspired by the Office Party discussions that Sarah Fay started in 2024 and

Mika

’s “Find your Tribe,” in which she says, “Each month, we have a new discussion thread and a new opportunity to spark new connections!” I recommend checking out the thread to meet other authors, creators, and artists.

For Caregivers/Carers - meet and greet with an icebreaker

When we were caring for Dad, the days, but especially the nights, were fraught and edgy. There wasn’t any deep restorative sleep, only the light, vigilant sleep alert to a shout or cry for help. By that point, there were no tears. In that period, I hated the ‘How are you’ questions and avoided overly-emotional films or songs in case floodgates opened, and I couldn’t gather myself up to carry on into the next day of caregiving. Crying felt like a waste of energy, an incomplete catharsis into deeper depths when the context remained unchanged.

Many people told me to take respite, look after myself, and do this or that to continue caring for my parents. ‘Durr, don’t you think I know that already!’ I shouted in my head.

Adding to our guilt about not being able to take care of ourselves while meeting the perfectionist standards of love associated with caring for our loved ones is not helpful. Thanks, no thanks. Sorry, not sorry.

During those most demanding times, I learnt how to incorporate mindfulness and actions into the everyday—not on top of or in addition to them. For example, changing the sheets karaoke, cooking-mindfulness minutes.

My go-to always has music somewhere. I created a ‘defiant’ attitude playlist, even if it also had to embrace the bittersweetness around me. Here are two anthems that marked that era for me.

🤞A slow roll discussion of empathy and insights

1. Share your name or handle (@_______). Let us know where in the world you’re based

2. In all CAPS, please let us know how long you have been caregiving, for whom and their health conditions

   • For example, “>10 YEARS - PARENTS, FRIEND - heart failure incl AFib, rheumatoid arthritis, Vascular Dementia, Kidney disease, Subrenal Aortic Aneurysm, Incontinence and Cancer.

3. In all CAPS Name a song, piece of music that helps you - title and artist, and the URL. Or if you can’t think of one let us know something that helps you. For example: ANDREA FAUSTINI’s I DIDN”T KNOW MY OWN STRENGTH and why you chose it

4. Find a comment, introduce yourself, and resonate/share

   Gently, does it; we're all learning and sharing with empathy and inspiration!😉

   Let’s lead with resonance and empathy.

5. Feel free to share an article you’ve written, a helpful resource, an organisation you’d recommend to others, or a book with a URL link.

NOTES

• Let’s spread kindness and empathy by sharing our experiences.

• This discussion format ensures that we can see each other’s responses easily.

🤞A slow roll discussion of empathy and insights ❤️

Please remember to ‘❤️’ LIKE the article to guide others to this community support.

Thank you for being here. Help me network ‘empathy and inspiration’ by subscribing to Carer Mentor.