Omg, I don't know what it is about these letters, but in flood of tears again, I so understood everything you said Tina, that sudden life change for you and the whole weight of caregiving. I loved that you said "But even though it will be the hardest thing you’ve ever faced, by far, you’ll find moments of joy, and you’ll get time for special moments with each of your parents that you wouldn’t trade for anything." - that's something that gets missed, that despite the hardships you find this new level of love.
But of course the bit that had me in tears was where God did answer your prayers but not in the way you expected, that just hit me, thank you for sharing your story 💜
Thank you! I’m sorry I made you cry, but I’m so glad you were able to connect with the piece. It’s so easy to get mad at God when we’re grieving, but answers come in so many different ways. I don’t always understand his answers, but I’ve never found one that was wrong.
What a beautiful, poignant and powerful letter Tina. Whilst I’ve experienced only a fraction of the years of caring that you have, there is so much here I relate to, starting with But God. My rock too.
Your words are so tender and so true.
My parents were both in a car accident along with my 3 siblings when I was 14 and my father suffered a brain injury from that. And I’ve pivoted recently to become a developmental editor too, in an attempt to find some paid work to fit around my responsibilities.
PS I also disagree with that trite phrase “God won’t give you anything you can’t handle…” and love your alternative. Gonna use that!
Wow, Tina, you absolutely nailed it. This letter to your younger self reveals so much about who you are, and I suppose that's a big piece of Victoria's intent with "Letters From A Caregiver"... not as easy as it seemed, is it? I found myself reading through your letter, mentally cheering your advice -- master the pivot, be flexible, improvise (yes, good one, absolutely) -- and then came But God. And I cried. Really cried, as it's so true and so necessary. Your words brought on the flash flood of my years as the primary caregiver for Mom and Dad, starting in 1999, up to today with my husband and our son. It's true: caregiving is so overwhelming and depleting that God, or whoever is your higher power, has to be your rock. Your letter's powerful, clear, and full of truth. Thank you for writing it and sharing it with everyone. 💜
Aww, Cindy. I didn’t mean to make you cry, but I know those tears came from a place of understanding. You get it. They would have had to scrape my wilted body off the pavement a long time ago, but God.
Hugs, Cindy. Yes, the exercise of writing to our younger selves is deeply revealing as an individual process. In addition, as readers, we offer empathy through comments like yours. Both offer reassurance that we’re not as alone as we may think. It’s heartwarming to witness.
What a powerful letter Tina! One word that helps me as a caregiver is empathy. When people show real grace and empathy towards us, it really does mean a whole lot.
Omg, I don't know what it is about these letters, but in flood of tears again, I so understood everything you said Tina, that sudden life change for you and the whole weight of caregiving. I loved that you said "But even though it will be the hardest thing you’ve ever faced, by far, you’ll find moments of joy, and you’ll get time for special moments with each of your parents that you wouldn’t trade for anything." - that's something that gets missed, that despite the hardships you find this new level of love.
But of course the bit that had me in tears was where God did answer your prayers but not in the way you expected, that just hit me, thank you for sharing your story 💜
Thank you! I’m sorry I made you cry, but I’m so glad you were able to connect with the piece. It’s so easy to get mad at God when we’re grieving, but answers come in so many different ways. I don’t always understand his answers, but I’ve never found one that was wrong.
Don't be sorry, it's such an honest piece of writing, thank you for sharing.
What a beautiful, poignant and powerful letter Tina. Whilst I’ve experienced only a fraction of the years of caring that you have, there is so much here I relate to, starting with But God. My rock too.
Your words are so tender and so true.
My parents were both in a car accident along with my 3 siblings when I was 14 and my father suffered a brain injury from that. And I’ve pivoted recently to become a developmental editor too, in an attempt to find some paid work to fit around my responsibilities.
PS I also disagree with that trite phrase “God won’t give you anything you can’t handle…” and love your alternative. Gonna use that!
Bless you. You’re amazing!
Thank you, Siobhan. Wow, we have a lot in common—most importantly, faith. Thank you for commenting and connecting with me.
Wow, Tina, you absolutely nailed it. This letter to your younger self reveals so much about who you are, and I suppose that's a big piece of Victoria's intent with "Letters From A Caregiver"... not as easy as it seemed, is it? I found myself reading through your letter, mentally cheering your advice -- master the pivot, be flexible, improvise (yes, good one, absolutely) -- and then came But God. And I cried. Really cried, as it's so true and so necessary. Your words brought on the flash flood of my years as the primary caregiver for Mom and Dad, starting in 1999, up to today with my husband and our son. It's true: caregiving is so overwhelming and depleting that God, or whoever is your higher power, has to be your rock. Your letter's powerful, clear, and full of truth. Thank you for writing it and sharing it with everyone. 💜
🤗🙏
Aww, Cindy. I didn’t mean to make you cry, but I know those tears came from a place of understanding. You get it. They would have had to scrape my wilted body off the pavement a long time ago, but God.
Yeah, my understanding, but also your writing... don't forget that part. 🤗
Yes! 🌼
Hugs, Cindy. Yes, the exercise of writing to our younger selves is deeply revealing as an individual process. In addition, as readers, we offer empathy through comments like yours. Both offer reassurance that we’re not as alone as we may think. It’s heartwarming to witness.
Thanks for doing this, Victoria. I’ve been reading through all the letters. They’re so helpful.
Ditto that. 🤗
Lovely to see the person behind the wonderful notes you write on Substack
Aww... thank you so much!
What a powerful letter Tina! One word that helps me as a caregiver is empathy. When people show real grace and empathy towards us, it really does mean a whole lot.
Thank you, Chris. Yes, I can definitely see how that would be the case. I love it when others are gracious.
Yessssss
Love this one💙
Thank you, Leslie.